Anyone else living with your H whilst house is on the market before divorcing?

[startingoveragainagain]

How are you coping and what are you doing for them? What are your boundaries? We are sleeping in different rooms but other than that are pretty much the same i.e. I still do washing, cooking etc. But I just want out and he's annoyed me this week saying how I can spend my money (we still have shared bank account/ CC account etc).

Just interested in how people are handling co-habiting?

I did. Separate rooms separate finances separate lives

Read up on law. You should NOT be doing shred cooking, washing, or even dining at same table.
You need to put in some boudaries between you
It’s not optional

Oh, and certainly no shared joint account . One of first things that needs to be done.
but make sure you do your form E and D81 summary FIRST before closing joint accounts. Do them, sign but don’t date them until ready to be sent to court (d81 at the least)

I'd have been locked up for murder if I had been forced to live with exh until the house was sold. The only way it will work is if you keep out of each other's way. Separate rooms, finances, don't do anything for each other.

I lived with eXH for 8 months while I waited for my purchase to go through. We were actually fairly amicable.

We had separate rooms, did separate days out with DS etc, I took him to my parents before Christmas and he took him to his for new year etc. But I cooked etc as normal - we were living in the same house, and we had a child together. We all had to eat, and it would have seemed petty to be cooking anyway and to say to him that I hadn’t cooked for him and he could cook for himself.

We did have some arguments, but we did also co-exist and co parent fairly well.

I lived with mine while divorcing, and while taking him to court to get the settlement done. I had to take him to court as he refused to co-operate with my solicitor's requests for info. I was going to write more, but the memories are not very nice, and anyway my situation was an outlier as neither had pensions to speak of, and DC were young adults. It was hell.

I will chip in as and when relevant, if I may?

I don't think you do have to have those boundaries anymore as the law changed when they introduced no fault divorce didn't it?

We are mostly amicable, but he gives me the odd dig. I actually think we get on better now we've decided to divorce - guess the pressure is off.

Did it for 14 months, it was a nightmare, he didn't want the divorce. Thank god he started internet dating about 3 weeks after we split, but it didn’t stop him being consistently unpleasant and having a go at me in a loud whisper when the kids were in bed for an hour at a time on regular occasions. But I lost 2 stone - silver linings etc.

we divorced before no-fault, but agreed we were separated from a particular date so we could do the 2 years. But carried on a lot as normal - i didnt think anyone was going to inspect what was going into each laundry load and refuse our divorce.

we still have shared bank account/ CC account etc)

That needs to change as soon as possible. It's going to have to be done at some point so may as well do it now while you are amicable. It's something my solicitor was emphatic about.

Watching with interest as I will be starting this process next month. Just waiting on paperwork before I tell him.

Do you wash his clothes and cook for him? If so I'd stop that.

I went on a date with a man who was still in this situation once, worse he referred to her as 'my wife' rather than 'my ex wife' I ran a mile it was all too emeshed and messy for me!

Me 🙋
Not married but been together 15 yrs, split up beginning of January.
No drama, had a conversation where we both said we we're unhappy.
I own my house, he has a buy to let with tenants in.
He still hasn't given them notice, they have a 6 month contract so he could have had his house back by now but he hasn't done anything.
He moved out at first, lasted 2 days, came back looking like a tramp, I felt sorry for him and he hasn't left since.
He's in the spare room, it's like we haven't split up, cook for each other, do each other's washing, eat together, watch TV together.
We just don't sleep together.
He's just booked us a holiday and we're going as friends.
He loves me and I love him.
I need to get tough and tell him to go but I keep chickening out.
Friends and family can't understand it.
It would be easier if we'd fallen out or he'd done something wrong.
I wouldn't be able to bear living with someone that hated me or that I hated.
My situation is completely fucked up 🙄

@Campervangirl I feel kind of similar... we haven't been on holiday together tho, although I did suggest it, but I went with my parents in the end.
I really want to get on with my life, but also want it to be amicable and feel a bit sorry for him.