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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

My ex husband refuse to pay half of the mortgage

93 replies

hkgihdhgj · 19/07/2023 22:47

we have court order, I must sell the house and he get half of the property,
I did appeal, but failed, he lied everything in the court. and Judge believed him,
I got panic attack and trauma in the court hearing, I lost my minds. I have mental health reports, Judge just ingore it
Now I got issue to pay the mortgage, I am paying all of the mortgage, but interests so high, I am on unversal credit only, I cant afford it anymore. I am selling the property now. I dont know how long I can sell it. I paid the deposit ,but he got half of property, now he refuse to pay half of mortgage, anybody can help me out please ?
Can I apply for any court order force him to pay the mortgage ?

OP posts:
CandyLeBonBon · 19/07/2023 22:52

If your court order says sell the house, then that's what you have to do unfortunately. It's a horrible situation but you can't force your exH to pay if it's already been decided by the courts.

millymollymoomoo · 19/07/2023 23:23

A mortgage is held joint and severally meaning you are both equally liable and if he doesn’t pay the mortgage company will simply expect you to

a court is unlikely to firce him to pay . Where is he living now and is he paying rent ?

are you seeking full time employment to enable you to earn money to pay the mortgage ?

kannnet96 · 19/07/2023 23:25

Speak to your lender. You may be able to arrange a mortgage holiday for 6-12 months while you sell the house

MrsMoastyToasty · 19/07/2023 23:30

Go and see your local CAB. They may be able to help.
Remind him that if he doesn't pay the mortgage and you don't pay it either then not only will your credit score be fucked, so will his.

Totaly · 19/07/2023 23:33

You can keep a list of what he owes and his share will be reduced by that amount. You need bank statements etc to show you’ve paid.

PowerBMI · 19/07/2023 23:33

What did the court say about the mortgage payments?

Did they say you both needed to pay or that you, who is getting sole use of the house, needs to pay until it’s sold?

and when was the judgement that the house had to be sold?

SueVineer · 19/07/2023 23:39

You need to sell asap as per the court order. Speak to your lender and try to go to interest only.

caringcarer · 20/07/2023 00:29

kannnet96 · 19/07/2023 23:25

Speak to your lender. You may be able to arrange a mortgage holiday for 6-12 months while you sell the house

Good advice here.

Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:35

I need sell the property as high as possible,
the court order says , the euqity will split 50:50 after deduct the lawyer fee and mortgage, and estate agent fee. but Judge didnt mention who pay the mortgage. I am paying the mortgage, he is renting somewhere 1 room, He says If I dont pay, he will ask occapational rent from me, I live with my little boy in the house. Intereste goes so high, everyone cant afford , everyone in stressful. I am in medical condition as well. I dont have money to have solicitor, I totally lost my case.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:37

PowerBMI · 19/07/2023 23:33

What did the court say about the mortgage payments?

Did they say you both needed to pay or that you, who is getting sole use of the house, needs to pay until it’s sold?

and when was the judgement that the house had to be sold?

Judge only says put the house on the market , sell as high as price, Judge didnt when I have sell the house. I already put the house in the market now.
In the final court hearing, Judge and my ex all abused me totally, Judge doesnt know how is the mental health issue patient brain not work as normal person.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:38

MrsMoastyToasty · 19/07/2023 23:30

Go and see your local CAB. They may be able to help.
Remind him that if he doesn't pay the mortgage and you don't pay it either then not only will your credit score be fucked, so will his.

Yes, i will do it. thanks a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:39

Totaly · 19/07/2023 23:33

You can keep a list of what he owes and his share will be reduced by that amount. You need bank statements etc to show you’ve paid.

ok, I will keep it, thanks a lot.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:40

SueVineer · 19/07/2023 23:39

You need to sell asap as per the court order. Speak to your lender and try to go to interest only.

I will try to do this as well, I did ask CAB , they didnt reply me yet.

OP posts:
MintJulia · 20/07/2023 03:12

It is important to tell your mortgage company what is happening. But you need to sell quickly, and split the proceeds with your ex.

Think about where you will move to, closer to schools? Closer to work? Start looking for somewhere new, so you can plan a fuyure

ArcticSkewer · 20/07/2023 03:25

Tell your ex that you won't be paying the mortgage either as you can't afford it any more. You are jointly liable for the debt.

Speak to the mortgage company and explain you can't afford it and are selling the property. Hopefully they can change you to interest only or give you a payment holiday.

Get that house sold. You may need to jointly agree to lower the price

What are your plans? Will you rent?

Loverofoxbowlakes · 20/07/2023 05:32

Hmmm. What people on this thread think should happen is very different from what is required by law.

Unfortunately op, your mental health difficulties have no bearing on the court's decision - the bottom line is that the house must be sold. Your ex has equity in the house and unless you can buy him out then this is the only way. If that means you go into rented accommodation then so be it.

Is your ex your dc's dad? If so (and assuming no other spousal maintenance has been agreed) then all your ex is required to pay is CMS amount for the dc. You have sole occupancy of the house, you should pay 100% of the bills to live there, as your ex is doing with his 1 bed flat. He cannot be expected to pay for a house he doesn't live in.

Do you work op? Generally you will be expected to maximise your income through work. If your income is low you will likely get more financial support when renting rather than when paying a mortgage.

Divorce and unravelling joint finances is tough. Bottom line is that you have been fairly ordered to sell to release your ex's interest and capital, and that you can't afford to live there anyway.

BluNomad · 20/07/2023 05:36

hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:37

Judge only says put the house on the market , sell as high as price, Judge didnt when I have sell the house. I already put the house in the market now.
In the final court hearing, Judge and my ex all abused me totally, Judge doesnt know how is the mental health issue patient brain not work as normal person.

Show quote history

Oh give over, nobody abused you , you just don’t like the outcome & were expecting it to go your way despite the legalitys. It’s irrelevant whether you have ‘mh’ issues (doesn’t everyone nowadays) or a child. Sell the house & get a job so you can pay your way

PowerBMI · 20/07/2023 05:49

hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 01:37

Judge only says put the house on the market , sell as high as price, Judge didnt when I have sell the house. I already put the house in the market now.
In the final court hearing, Judge and my ex all abused me totally, Judge doesnt know how is the mental health issue patient brain not work as normal person.

Show quote history

Op, I am going to guess you were told by the judge to sell it quite a while ago and you are dragging your feet? Or at least that what it appears to your exh.

I think you might have misunderstood. I am not asking when the judge said it had to be sold by. But when did the judge tell you, you had to sell the house. And when did you actually put the house up for sale?

When people have sole use of the house they are, usually, expected to pay all the bills for the house.

If the child is his, then he will need to child maintenance. Is the child his and is he doing this? If the child is his and he isn’t paying then you need to go to CMS and out in a claim. In the meantime speak to the mortgage company and do your best to sell the property asap.

You can’t drag this out.

Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 10:24

MintJulia · 20/07/2023 03:12

It is important to tell your mortgage company what is happening. But you need to sell quickly, and split the proceeds with your ex.

Think about where you will move to, closer to schools? Closer to work? Start looking for somewhere new, so you can plan a fuyure

yes, it is shareownship house, it takes time to sell it. I did appealing once, it was refused.
I dont know how to say, My head was totally locked in the court hearing. It is hard to explain when you have trauma, it is not easy to think wider... I plan to buy anther shareownship house , but the house association said I need sell mine first. The interest is higher, My ex salary is doubled than my income. My son live with me, he is his son as well.
I am not easy to have mortgage to buy something , even 1 bedroom, I am not eligiable to have the mortgage , but he definitely can buy good one, I have all medical report for my mental health issue which cause my domestic abuse. It is sad the Judge not consider my side. My ex also think the Judge did shit job.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 10:27

BluNomad · 20/07/2023 05:36

Oh give over, nobody abused you , you just don’t like the outcome & were expecting it to go your way despite the legalitys. It’s irrelevant whether you have ‘mh’ issues (doesn’t everyone nowadays) or a child. Sell the house & get a job so you can pay your way

Show quote history

I cant have job because of the mental health issue, it is very sever.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 10:43

PowerBMI · 20/07/2023 05:49

Op, I am going to guess you were told by the judge to sell it quite a while ago and you are dragging your feet? Or at least that what it appears to your exh.

I think you might have misunderstood. I am not asking when the judge said it had to be sold by. But when did the judge tell you, you had to sell the house. And when did you actually put the house up for sale?

When people have sole use of the house they are, usually, expected to pay all the bills for the house.

If the child is his, then he will need to child maintenance. Is the child his and is he doing this? If the child is his and he isn’t paying then you need to go to CMS and out in a claim. In the meantime speak to the mortgage company and do your best to sell the property asap.

You can’t drag this out.

Show quote history

I am paying all the bill for the house, I am paying the rent and all mortgage. I never ask him to pay the gas ,water bill etc.
The mortgage doubled because of the interests go up very high, my mortgage all expired , need remortgage. It is reasonable to ask him pay half of the mortgage, he get half of the house value.
I receive the Child maintance from him, just a little money. but mortgages go up too high, Even I use all money to pay mortgage and rent, I dont have money to buy any food. I am in crisis.

OP posts:
Original poster
hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 10:46

I accepted Judge `s decision, because you dont have no choice, Judge is God even I dont agree. My life still need go foward. But I need sort out my criss ,this is ememergy for me. life is not fair, but need move forward

OP posts:
jazzhands84 · 20/07/2023 11:03

Consider getting a lodger to help out financially and perhaps putting the house up for auction for a quick sale?

MintJulia · 20/07/2023 11:32

OP, in the kindest way, you should have sold the house as soon as the judgement was made. The best you can do now is sell as soon as you can.

No it is not reasonable to ask your ex to pay half the mortgage. You are divorced and he is paying for his own home, while you have the full benefit of the house.

You really need to find work to provide for yourself.

PowerBMI · 20/07/2023 12:07

hkgihdhgj · 20/07/2023 10:43

I am paying all the bill for the house, I am paying the rent and all mortgage. I never ask him to pay the gas ,water bill etc.
The mortgage doubled because of the interests go up very high, my mortgage all expired , need remortgage. It is reasonable to ask him pay half of the mortgage, he get half of the house value.
I receive the Child maintance from him, just a little money. but mortgages go up too high, Even I use all money to pay mortgage and rent, I dont have money to buy any food. I am in crisis.

Show quote history

Yes mortgage rates are making things difficult.

But I didn’t say you expect him to pay the gas etc. the mortgage and rent is a household bill, which is usually the responsibility of the person who has sole use of the property.

If he is paying child maintenance that’s his contribution and he does have to pay more. Which doesn’t help you.

Going back to court would likely cost you more money, in which time, the house may sell anyway.

You don’t want to say how long ago the judgement has been or when the house went up for sale, so I am guessing you have been dragging your feet.

Call your mortgage company and make sure the house is priced reasonably.

If you can not work due to illness, are you reviving all the benefits you can? Have you applied for Pip?