Two weeks on/off child arrangement

[Magmum75]

Just wondered if anybody has ever done this - pros and cons please. Seems like it might be less unsettling constantly moving. On my way to mediation and trying to come up with ideas for compromise.

That’s a long time for a child to not see their parent.

Depends on lots of factors. 2 weeks without seeing a parent is too much when they're young. If they're older have you asked them how they would like to split their time? Always shocks me how many parents fight about best arrangements for their 10+ year olds and don't ask for their opinion.

Also factors like how parents get along and how childcare etc would work. If you need a nursery etc they wouldn't let your child only come for 2 weeks on and then let you not pay for the next 2 weeks. You'd need to agree on childcare and split it equally which isn't always easy, especially if one parent works part time and doesn't need or want to pay for childcare on those days.

Sometimes I'd say set days work - e.g. if a parent is part time and doesn't work Thursday and Friday then that parent has every Thursday and Friday and other parent has every Monday and Tuesday, swap on Wednesdays and alternative weekends (essentially a 5/2 split that swaps each week) then have bigger blocks in holidays.

I haven’t any experience but I could imagine it would be a right pita with regards to childcare and clubs etc - not just the dc but the parents hobbies too - imagine a fitness class you can only go to every other week? And as pp suggested, childcare but only ever other week if one parent needs it and the other doesn’t. Plus the child’s activities- if a club starts at 4pm, one parent has flexi time and can take, but the other is office based and can’t leave until 5, then the child can only go every other week but you usually have to pay for the full term.
for those reasons, I think set days are best.

I have no personal experience but I can tell you as someone who works in education that these arrangements always seem to unsettle the child. Consider the child's need for continuity rather the adults' right to a fair state of time.

Seems a long stint without seeing 1.

My friend does this for her 9yo
Mum - mon Tues
Dad - wed thurs
Alternate - Fri sat sun

I think it's quite good, but they live very close to each other and school, so that helps.

I do one week with me, one with his Dad but in hindsight would NEVER recommend 50:50.

Disclaimer - have a toxic ex - but, with 50:50 neither of you has more parental responsibility than the other making decisions very tough if you can't agree. If I had my time again, I'd go 70:30 with the balance of time with me

I get that two weeks is a long time not to see a parent, child wants 50/50 and original idea was one week on/off but child is busy with activities and dad is not listening to their needs and its all about his priorities.