Separation/divorce what am I entitled to?

[Angeldelight21]

So, our marriage broke down and husband is moving out. We will be separated for few months and divorce in the new year.

He is a high earner and currently we don't get taxcredits or child benefits. Can I apply for these during separation or I need to wait until the divorce?

Our DD will stay with me, how will our finances split? Is it always 50%-50%?

Thanks for your help

Like I said op, the divorce board here, like aibu, is very skewed by the bitter. And often misogynist.

Op states she earns 28k
im presuming therefore she works

the child is only 1.5 so I’m also assuming op has not sacrificed years to stay at home.

op is highly unlikely to get spousal based on her ability to earn, and her ex earnings and advising her to go for this is misguided.

op needs a place to live
child maintenance
many other benefits she may qualify for

depending on the length of marriage, and assets available these will be shared, but her ex also needs to be housed to suitable std with a child and is not considered a high earner ( in terms of spousal )

nursery fees are something however, that needs considering and agreement on sharing these should be reached

Hang on a minute, he earned 60k and you earned 28k and you split bills 50/50?
That was totally not on.
Apply for universal credit and CMS now.

@Beacon2000 whether it made finances sense for a sahp to be a sahp isn't the point, is it?

The point is that as a couple, as a married couple, they agreed this. They might have fort it was best for them. Worked best for them and their children. That's what married couples do. All in good faith at the time.

Probably not a lot since marriage isn’t worth the paper it’s written on. He’s on a mediocre salary so maybe half the sale of the assets at best and a bit of child support. Good luck.

It’s not fair is it, but according to MN brigade if you’re a part time working mum or don’t contribute 50/50 then you’re scum.

In relation to your questions.

1. Yes, once you split you can start to claim benefits.
2. It isn’t always 50/50. It’s not even a starting point. The split is based on need and if you’re a resident parent and lower earner your needs are higher.
3. A clean break is a preferred outcome legally and for most people Spousal maintenance and mesher orders should be final options. You should also be aware that spousal maintenance is means tested unlike child maintenance. That means it will reduce your UC and to be frank that is a better source of income.

What will happen is that there will be a fair distribution of your marital assets. Generally all your individual and joint assets (and debts) are considered to be part of the marriage. There are exceptions which depend on many factors and aren’t usual.

As a lower earner you need a bigger share of the assets and this will be recognised. When thinking about your income take into account Benefits and CMS. When thinking about your outgoings think about child care costs.

She didn’t say that. She asked if assets are split always 50:50. They aren’t and it’s not a starting point.

@Mumtothreegirlies it's true. The contempt on MN for part time workers or even sahps on MN is foul.

It also denigrates the work sahps do at home. When I was a sahp, I was the first up working and the last to sit down. That work is not valued at all even though it's sheer graft.

Yet had I not done it when the dcs were small, my ex would not have been able to fulfill his work duties that sometimes involved travel.

How I wish he hadn't turned out to be violent, abusive, adulterous skank who has frittered away over £1m over the last three years and left my children in a traumatised state. But no, let's focus on the 'lazy' sahps.

@Beacon2000 greed how? I got told by my ex-husband that he wasn't going to work because of childcare costs being the same as his salary. I didn't agree to it, I was told and didn't argue (I was a fool). I was promised all kinds of things like not having to do my laundry and ironing, the cleaning etc which lasted about a week.

This is your experience. Not everyone's. Yours. Your experience does not mean that it is the same as everyone else's.

@Beacon2000
It really isn't sheer graft 😂

I used to do it before and after work because my SAHD did naff all. I managed to do it on top of a full time job.

Unless you were drying clothes with a mangle or preparing meals from scratch three times a day I think you're deluded about what graft

Again, your experience. Aren't you just the Wonder Woman denigrating every other sahm or sahp?

You sound like perhaps you need therapy to rid yourself of your bitterness and stop attacking everyone else who doesn't fit your experience or mould or expectations.

@BlastedPimples so do you actually

i agree with beacon
and doing housework/ admin is not sheer graft

anyway this thread is detailing so I suggest people stop squabbling on it

Eh? Who says I depend on someone for living @Beacon2000 ?

And I know the courts don't care. They look at need.

And do not paint everyone with the same brush just because you are bitter and have had a bad experience, honey.

Housework admin childcare. It's hard work actually. But lovely that you don't think so.

Erm where did I say the op shouldn't get a job? Where? You're talking cobblers.

What I did say, if you read very very carefully, is that it can take time for someone to get on their feet financially and work wise after a divorce.

It doesn't all just fall into place immediately. Just because you say it does.

It made me look needy and dependent myself. Ah. You again have cast judgement because your experience and that of a few of your colleagues means that everyone's else's experiences are exactly the same.

Really? Belt up.

Bloody hell, stop the squabbling and derailing. Really not helpful to the OP.

Apply for CB and UC - I think you may be able to do this as soon as you are not in a relationship - even if you are still in the same house.

Agree with the very early PP's that assets brought into the relationship are likely to be taken into account as will your relative earnings and earning potential (if your £28k is from part time working then less likely to get a higher equity split than if it was FT).

I agree with beacon.

The system incentives lazyness

Well, that escalated quickly.

OP, if you’re still reading, these two websites will be useful:
https://www.entitledto.co.uk/
https://www.gov.uk/calculate-child-maintenance

Also get a decent solicitor and take their advice.