I don’t know where to start. I separated from my husband last year and moved out into a flat which I can barely afford due to a long breakdown in the relationship resulting in narcissistic behaviour and being supported through our local domestic abuse agency (it was very subtle). I have two daughters. One who stays with me most of the time and my youngest who spends almost all of the time with her dad. (Long story but he’s certainly not encouraged her to be with me). He doesn’t contribute a penny and he said he wouldn’t, despite earning nearly three times my salary.
Anyway, I have just found out that last week he drove after drinking, crashed the car and got arrested and is going to court next week. Apparently the car was a write off and I should imagine he’s lucky to be alive, let alone the fact that he could have killed someone.
He spent the night in custody whilst my daughter (13) was at the family home alone with a friend round for a sleepover. though his mother went round to them once he’d called her from custody.
No one told me. He didn’t tell me. My mother in law didn’t tell me. Over a week later, my eldest daughter has told me the minute she found out.
I don’t even know where to begin. I’m so angry, disappointed, and a whole other range of emotions.
He’s also arranged the school bus for my youngest to get to school.
Should I not be part of this conversation? He’s tried to discourage her being here by saying I live in a bad area (I don’t, btw) but surely if he’s not able to take her to school (18 miles away) then she should be coming to stay with me (3 miles from school). I just can’t believe he hasn’t contacted me at all. My youngest hasn’t stayed overnight with me for 8 weeks now which breaks my heart.
I really want to speak to him but am quite cross.
He must know that I know now that he’s told our eldest, so maybe I should wait to see if he contacts me.
Interestingly I’m seeing the divorce solicitor very soon as I need to start the divorce proceedings.
What should I do?