How can you get married if you are rich

[Randomer40]

I seriously dont understand how people do that in England.
Say you worked your ass off/got inheritance and you have 1.5M pounds and your spouse has no assets.

When you get married you essentially gift your spouse 750K (or more over time if they are low earner). You might love your spouse but you might still not want to gift them all those assets you worked hard for.

After 10 years of marriage you will have to split assets 50 50 or worse and a prenup is not much help.

How do people do it? How can anyone think that is fair to split assets that you earned while not even knowing your spouse.

Trouble is you can agree all you like now

But maybe someone comes along that turns his head? You split and She becomes pregnant. Suddenly he decides the inheritance is best kept for him.

(I know this is the other way around)

Point is anyone can change their mind and go from "we will be nice and civil" to not nice at point of divorce and decide to claim more than "reasonable"

And courts may follow a prenup but they may not. You only know it at point of divorce with a divorce lawyer for poorer partner who is very incentivised to push for more/fight as that gets them more fees.

Absolutely this is the problem.....

There is just only risk for the wealthier party. If the wealthy disparity is large one must be almost crazy to get married.

Prenups work only if you are seriously rich as I was told. Apparently people can argue that they "need" a house in a nice neighborhood in London. So if you have like 2M they can just get 1M for free.

I find this line of argument absolutely unbelievable. How is their a birth right for a nice house in London. Most people can't afford that. How can having 1M in assets be a "need" when most of the country has cost of living crisis and is struggling.

No one forces anyone to get married. If people enter a LEGAL contract without understanding all the ramifications of that, that's on them.

its true, no need to get married

however, if you are both broke students or both starting out on careers, you can get married without any financial risks or worries.

its when there is a disparity that really - the better off one has NO incentive to marry, and the less well off one has every incentive to marry (particularly if they want to have kids). so a stale mate (which is not good for the women who has a ticking clock on kids and usually affected most financially by having them)

so its not a huge issue for me to not marry, it would be nice but such is life.

it is much more of an issue if men refuse to marry women they may have kids with due to the risk of losing all assets - as practically they refuse, kids happen anyway, woman and kids much worse off in split.

That is the next joke. Prenup you need to get legal advice and yet you can still claim you "didn't fully understand it".
Marriage no one really tells you the disgraceful implications, so unless you are smart and research it you would often find out in divorce.

Most people assume that premarital assets wouldn't be touched as this seems fair only to find out how crazy the English system is when it gets to divorce.
Also people get married in Europe and move to London and then they lose all their assets. No one warns you when you enter this country that this implies a 50% chance of losing most of your assets. Disgusting.

Your wife got herself a Shit Hot Lawyer I take it?

Prenupts are accepted in this country and fairness is not about the division of assets in this case but about the other party not being pressured into the agreement, that they understood the implication and gad received adequate legal advice.

Nah. I refuse to marry. It is just annoying to not be able to do that.

That is the next joke. Prenup you need to get legal advice and yet you can still claim you "didn't fully understand it"
That wouldn't stand in court if you indeed received appropriate council and signed to say you agree the implications.

Things change. When I married my DH earned 4x what I did and had investments worth twice as much as mine. Now I earn more than twice what he does and my assets are probably 4x his. In time the situation may have changed again. Marry someone with similar aspirations, values, intelligence, work and personal ethics, live as a team then go with the flow.

Marriage no one really tells you the disgraceful implications

Oh why does everyone need to be told everything. The information is available! Marriage is a contract, and you shouldn't sign it if you haven't looked into the legalities. I know plenty of people don't, but I think that's foolish and I don't have a huge amount of time for "oh but I didn't know!!".

If you're loaded and you get married without understanding the financial aspects, that's on you.

Also people get married in Europe and move to London and then they lose all their assets. No one warns you when you enter this country that this implies a 50% chance of losing most of your assets. Disgusting.

Again, when someone moves countries I would expect them to fully research all aspects of that. When would you like this warning to be given? When they check your passports? A sign at Dover?

You missed the important bit.
Because if she has his kids and he dumps her when they're not married then she'll be the one left trying to raise his kids on thin air.

Sure. But then again with prenuptials for example you can claim you "didn't understand it".

How come I cant claim in divorce. Sorry I didnt understand the implications of marriage, which is far more likely and reasonable.

I agree if you have a lot of money basically you can't move to London for that reason. My complaint is that the law is so crazy.

Exactly. That’s why women are advised differently to men. Because so often this is exactly what happens.

The marriage contract is a life-long commitment. Like many contracts, you can extract yourself from it (divorce) but only at a cost. I entered into a marriage contract because I wanted that lifelong commitment that we became one unit. It is a huge commitment and it’s not for everyone, although imo you should not have children unless you are willing to commit in that way.

Your marriage vows tell you.

Whether civil or religious something along the lines of ‘all that I have’ is said. There’s your clue. ALL that you have is shared.

plus if there are children involved it can be argued that anything the less wealthy partner gets is really to enable them to care for the children.

you enter into marriage to be ‘as one’.

Of all the injustices in the world, this isn't one I'm losing sleep over.

How did your hypothetical prospective spouse earn their 2 million pounds?

Did they start out with family money? Buy property which they rented out so other people can pay their mortgage? Run a business which paid lots of people minimum wage while they made a nice profit? There are very few seriously rich people who didn't either profit from luck, inheritance, or exploiting other people in some way.

So if they have to share their 2 million and only have a million left - not breaking my heart.

But I'm not sure you're correct in this assumption anyway. Isn't it only if you have children, or have been together for the whole time the money was being made, that you are entitled to half?

Also, you could focus on being a good judge of character, picking a partner with sound moral values and working your butt off to make the marriage work. Like those of us without 2 million pounds have to do. Rather than plan in advance how you will divorce them without losing money.

These arguments make zero sense.
So essentially only the wealthy party has a lot of incentive to keep the marriage working. Seems unfair.

At least you agree it's an injustice.
To get the 2M pounds you or your family must have worked really hard to achieve that.

To be honest, I think most people in real life go into marriage for love not believing they’ll get divorced. So they aren’t planning for this.

Seems not very smart

This is true sadly.
I have been with DP for 3.5 years. He owns 2 houses and I privately rent . He has savings that he managed to scrabble from his divorce and I have nothing left after mine.
He has been upfront from the start that he will never marry or merge assets with me. He lost a lot when he got divorced and is very bitter.
I was ok with this at the start but 3.5 years in if I am honest I yearn for the commitment to the world that marriage stands for but am understanding of his position. I know i'm a gamble and that makes me very sad..

I guess most people get married young and assets get accrued during the marriage. My partner has wanted me to marry him for ten years but I won’t as I want his assets to be his alone. I have not earned them and do not require them.

*me

I feel for you. You are another victim of this crazy law.
Although I also understand your partner obviously

You would love the law in Australia. You don’t have to be married, just have lived together for a few years.