Happily divorced anyone?

NameChangedAnon · 2023-07-13T15:38:55+00:00

I’ve been considering divorce for some time now, won’t go into reasons but I’ve not gone through with it because of the kids, the hassle, the shame and probably a bit of fear as been together for 15 years. I’ve seen quite a few people say they’re happily divorced, can anyone give me a bit of encouragement please.

2022NewTimes · 13/07/2023 18:00

@NameChangedAnon Happy divorced !! Wish I done it years ago instead of putting up with crap.....

Northumberlandlass · 13/07/2023 18:03

Happily divorced here too!
It was my decision & I felt guilty for a while, but I wasn’t happy.

PTSDBarbiegirl · 13/07/2023 18:05

Yes, there was fall out at the time (obv) but I'm so glad I did it. My DC are adults now and all is very happy. Don't waste your life being unhappy.

Soooomaninamechanges · 13/07/2023 18:08

Yes!!! Kicked him out almost two years ago and seriously the happiest I have ever been!

Summer2424 · 13/07/2023 18:09

Hi @NameChangedAnon my Mum was happily divorced at 40 years old, she didn't have a custody issue to deal with and happily bought us 3 kids up. Hope things workout for the best for you xx

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:20

Happily divorced.
6 years since separated. Not happy at that point (exDH had an affair), but my god we did the right thing separating.

Love had gone, not a dynamic household.

Now live with gorgeous boyfriend of 3 years. Gorgeous stepsons, happy son of my own from precious marriage. And get on majority of times a-okay with exH. We parent quite well, and he is also happily resettled. So it kind of all worked out...

Doggymummar · 13/07/2023 18:22

Definitely a happy divorced person 😉 three times last one was 10 years ago. I don't out up with any crap In relationships.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 18:26

'The shame' honestly those who matter don't mind, and those who mind don't matter. People really won't care that much. I even if they did don't live your life for them- you only get one and you should spend or happy

BadGranny · 13/07/2023 18:26

Very happily divorced for 15 years after 20 years married. Nothing major, no affairs or DV, we just grew apart. I love being on my own.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 18:27

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:20

Happily divorced.
6 years since separated. Not happy at that point (exDH had an affair), but my god we did the right thing separating.

Love had gone, not a dynamic household.

Now live with gorgeous boyfriend of 3 years. Gorgeous stepsons, happy son of my own from precious marriage. And get on majority of times a-okay with exH. We parent quite well, and he is also happily resettled. So it kind of all worked out...

This is a great success story I love reading these they give me future hope (single mum to baby currently but would love to find love and a blended family one day!) - any advice on how you got there? X

alwaysacatastrophe · 13/07/2023 18:28

Very happily divorced! Limped along for years then he had an affair. Not nice at the time, but so much easier parenting the children on my own and living my life with no atmosphere or arguments

MachineBee · 13/07/2023 18:30

Very happy to have divorced my ExH when I was in my 40s - felt the biggest sense of relief when the marriage ended.

DCs were mid-teens - both girls - experienced a few regular teenage issues around the time and until they finished Uni, but suspect they would have happened regardless of divorce.

Now happily married to a lovely man who couldn’t be more different to my Ex if I’d picked him out if a catalogue 😂

KohlaParasaurus · 13/07/2023 18:35

I've never once regretted divorcing after almost 15 years of marriage. Slightly regretted not pulling the plug on the marriage earlier, but if I'd done that the subsequent sequence of events would have been different and I might not have ended up meeting and marrying my current (hopefully forever!) husband.

gogomoto · 13/07/2023 18:35

Happily divorced here, very amicable. Have met lovely dp and not looked back

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:47

@Unexpectedlysinglemum my top tips are:

remember everything is a phase. This includes the hard stuff in divorce, I.e the arguments about access, and finances etc. they are hideous at the time but they will and do pass.

you are more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Sounds really really cheesy but I've always quoted this to myself; a bird sitting in the tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is in her wings and not in the branch.

and pick your battles! Remember that if you concede to some stuff, you'll be able to use it in the future (hopefully) to get something you want or need!

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:53

@Unexpectedlysinglemum oh and for meeting someone gorgeous- that was harder! Kissed a lot of frogs in the search, but kept an open mind that someone lovely was out there. Kept the bar high so any losers were rejected!! And only dated guys with kids (for me I wanted an extended family for me and my son), and luckily in our case it worked out!

Mossstitch · 13/07/2023 18:56

And me👍 happiest ever been just annoyed that I didn't do it much sooner (ashamed to say 30 years🙈)

AutisticLegoLover · 13/07/2023 18:56

Happily divorced here too and would never marry again. It took nearly 6 years to get that decree absolute from when I applied. I'm happy on my own and wish I'd kicked him out before I even married him although then I wouldn't have dd2. It floored me to start with but it's seriously fantastic now and has been for the past few years. Unmarried bliss.

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 19:09

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:47

@Unexpectedlysinglemum my top tips are:

remember everything is a phase. This includes the hard stuff in divorce, I.e the arguments about access, and finances etc. they are hideous at the time but they will and do pass.

you are more resilient than you give yourself credit for. Sounds really really cheesy but I've always quoted this to myself; a bird sitting in the tree is never afraid of the branch breaking, because her trust is in her wings and not in the branch.

and pick your battles! Remember that if you concede to some stuff, you'll be able to use it in the future (hopefully) to get something you want or need!

I love that quote thank you, I will remember that one xx

Unexpectedlysinglemum · 13/07/2023 19:09

sunlovingcriminal · 13/07/2023 18:53

@Unexpectedlysinglemum oh and for meeting someone gorgeous- that was harder! Kissed a lot of frogs in the search, but kept an open mind that someone lovely was out there. Kept the bar high so any losers were rejected!! And only dated guys with kids (for me I wanted an extended family for me and my son), and luckily in our case it worked out!

That's great really happy for you x

CJat10 · 13/07/2023 19:11

I had the biggest smile on my face when I dropped off my divorce petition at the court. I have only ever regretted not doing it sooner (21 years)

Original poster

NameChangedAnon · 13/07/2023 20:27

Thank you all so much, you have given me hope! And really lovely to read how happy you all are now.

OP posts:

Bonkerz · 15/07/2023 18:31

Took 4 years but am definitely happily divorced.
Was terrified I couldn't make it on my own but me and my kids are happier than ever

Mumof3confused · 16/07/2023 04:34

So happy! I only wish I hadn’t waited and agonised for so long.

BatshitCrazyWoman · 18/07/2023 05:35

Like PP, I wish I'd done it sooner. I'm so much happier now.