What would be fair financial split?

[NeedSleepNow]

I do have an appointment with a solicitor next week so will be getting legal advice but I just wanted some advice on what might be a fair split.

STBXH and I had no real assets other than the house

Equity in house - 200k
Pensions - both roughly worth £50k
Debts (credit cards and student loan) - me £12k him £4k
Assets (savings/car) - me £4k him £3k

We have three children aged 6-13 who all live with me. They stay with him one night every other weekend.

I left a very good career and took a break to raise the children, now working in a low paid part time job with little while for progression (I am currently retraining but it will take a good few years before I am able to switch to working in that field). He earns £40k per year, I earn £10k per year.

I'm currently in the former family home with the children, he is moving in with his new partner and her son.

He wants to just split the house 50/50. I'm my situation would you see that as fair and accept that? It has been 2 years since we split and I want to move and get my own house now (he comes over to the house a lot still as it is legally part his as he frequently reminds me) so I am tempted to just agree and get the house sold.

My problem is that I will struggle to get a mortgage as my income is low and I really struggle month to month to cover everything. I have three children to house. He on the other hand is moving in with his new partner so now has two decent incomes to pay for housing and he will be delighted that he will now have to pay less maintenance as she has a son who will be living with them.

I think a 60/40 split of the house might be fairer as I need to house the children but I don't know what a solicitor or court would suggest.

You could get more than 50% in my opinion so do not accept without getting advice. You have the greater need and there isn't enough equity to house you both. As the children will be mainly living with you and he'll have a new home, he doesn't need 50%.

I believe that him living with someone will mean that his housing needs are being met and this can advantage you in the divorce settlement. It was on mumnet that I encountered that gem from the otherwise. That would only be through a court settlement however.

Have a read through the Advice Now guides that are linked above. They tell you how "fair" is determined. It doesn't have to be a court decision but it doesn't sound like he'll be reasonable. But you could show him the guides and see if he'll consider a different split.

He isn't responsible for his partners child so that shouldn't make a difference. I would say 70/30 if you have practically sole childcare and a heafty CMS payment for the children. You keep your debt and pension and same for him.

Since we split I've paid the mortgage solely and have paid off nearly £10k of it, would that be considered in a settlement or is he entitled to a portion of the equity I paid off?

Thanks. I know cms calculations will take his partners child into account and he will have to pay £50 a month less towards his own children which doesn't seem very fair

Thank you, I had wondered if him moving in with someone e would change things slightly

His partners income will be taken into account to determine a split of your marital assets. I’d say 70-30 in the circumstances plus the debts split 50-50

The court will view his housing needs as being met if they have lived together for six months which will reduce his need for money to house himself. As you are the primary carer for the children your earning ability is lower so you should get more equity and you need to house the children so your need is greater.

50:50 split would be a very good deal for him. It normally starts at 50:50 then is adjusted based on needs/earning potential etc. Personally I would get a good idea of what I needed to buy another house and aim for that. I don't think a 70:30 split would be unreasonable.

If you walk away with a lump sum that is not big enough to buy anywhere you won't be entitled to Universal Credit and the council will view you as having the means to house yourself so very unlikely to get a council house. You will spend the lump sum on private rent over the years.

Shared ownership might be a good option for you. You can buy the percentage you can afford and universal credit will cover the rent if your income stays low.

There may also be the option to keep the house untill the children are 18 at which point you would sell and he would have his share, likely adjusted if he has not contributed towards the mortgage.

Legal advice is expensive. Try to avoid court at all costs. The more you can do yourself the better. I would suggest you speak to a solicitor to get a good idea of where you stand then depending on your relationship with him and how well you communicate it might be worth having initial conversations between you to see if you can get close to an agreement.

Good luck xx

The children's needs are very high priority, you may struggle to house them if house is sold. People say Mesher orders are hard to obtain but I think you may have good case for one. Worth legal advice or at least reading up.

His partners income won’t be taken into consideration re the asset split
But the fact his housing needs considered met will ( wrongly in my view but there you go. He’s a fool to do this now)
youre unlikely to get more simply because you’ve paid the mortgage since split but the fact you earn less and have greater needs ( housing 3 children) will give weight to your split for higher %

I think student loan may get left out too as that's just paid from your income

Thank you. Yes this is my problem, a house big enough to house us, even with the kids sharing bedrooms, would be £350k minimum. so even if I had a 70% share of the equity I would need a mortgage of over £200k, in reality I could borrow only around £30k.

Rents for 3 bed houses are over £1500 p/m and I would lose £1200 a month in universal credit once I had the money in my account so the equity would be fine within a few years.

I've been looking at shared ownership. It's not ideal but is more secure than renting and I think this week be the option I have to end up going along.

I have been quite happy in the family home but ex has made it very difficult. Coming over when he wants as he sees it as his home, drops kids off but will unlock door with his key, walk straight in and sit on the sofa for 3+hours. He's made it clear he sees it at his home even though he hasn't loved here or paid towards it for 2 years. I am definitely ready to have a home that is mine now!

This is my big worry, my only realistic options are to either push to stay in the house or to try to find a shared ownership property

Shared ownership gives you a way to 'park' your lump sum and will provide you with a secure house for the children. It can also work out cheaper a month then owning outright or renting depending on the % split etc.

I would def ask your solicitor if there is anything you can do to stop him walking into the house and hanging out for 3 hours. It's going to take a while to get it sorted and you don't need the extra stress of your ex goading you like that. He doesn't live there anymore!

I've spoken to my solicitor before about it and unfortunately legally as joint owner he can just walk in, he could move back in tomorrow if he wanted. I would need some sort of court order in place to stop him but I didn't really want to go down that route before. After 2 years of this I am getting rather fed up of it now though!

I would go and get some proper legal advice because what you're being told here is mostly wrong and also every divorce case is unique and turns on the facts (and it varies by region too). Only a lawyer working in your local area and who is provided all the facts of your case will be able to suggest some likely outcomes and even then this will be subject to legal risk (the risk of losing your case) because judges have a lot of discretion in deciding divorce cases.

I think one critical point you must understand though is that finances are decided based on earning capacities and your earning capacities are not very different. That is a point most of the people advising you here have missed. By the time this case settled in a court your youngest will be in Year 2 and you will be considered able to work full time. On minimum wage, your earning capacity would be £18k gross. With three children you will also be entitled to quite a lot of universal credit and child benefit and 85% of your childcare costs, probably around £7k net a year. You may well find once his income reduces to pay you child maintenance and yours increases, you actually have a higher net income than him.

The other thing I would say is that although a Mesher Order could apply in your circumstances, they tend to be quite rare especially as he only earns £40k. He presumably at least wants EOW and a weekday and will have equivalent housing needs to you (the priority is the children, but not just when they are with you). Even if you did get one, his not contributing to the mortgage would not mean you getting a higher percentage when the house is finally sold if he remains on the same mortgage as you and cannot buy his own property. In fact, if that was the outcome of a lower court I think he would have a very strong case to appeal on the grounds of fairness, as the outcome would be unfair (as it could mean you could afford to be an owner occupier when the children are grown up but he could not).

Thank you, that is useful to see it in that way. I am seeing my solicitor Thursday for some advice.

A mesher order would not be something I would be wanting. I am looking at trying to get a shared ownership property using my equity from the house as I don't want for him to remain on the mortgage whilst I am in the house.

He has the children to stay every other Saturday night (he has them from Saturday morning through to Sunday lunch time). He sees them one night midweek too but doesn't have them overnight then. He has not asked for any more overnight contact than that, not during the school holidays either. It is working quite well at the moment and the kids are relatively settled with the current situation.

I think you are very sensible to try and avoid a Mesher Order. They tend to have poor long term outcomes for both parties and are only really a last resort.

The amount of contact would suggest some small deviation in asset split in your favour but I doubt it would be more than 55/45. The 70/30 scenario tends to only arise where one of the couple has a six figure salary, the other cannot (rather than does not) earn much, both parties are relatively young and for some reason there are not many assets despite the high salary.

One final thought. Be wary of what you are told by a solicitor if the advice is free. Solicitors have to be very, very careful about giving advice because if you depend on it and it is negligent you can sue them. Thus in the free half hour they will either tell you a worst case or best case scenario to sign you up (without telling you how you should respond) and they will only tell you generic things you could read on their website. For decent advice, make sure you pay for it.

I'm afraid you'll have to go with what your solicitor advises unless you want to drag it out for years.

Just my opinion after seeing friends have all sorts of legal battles.

Remember the solicitors don't give a toss about who is right or wrong they apply the law and benefit from others misfortunes.

Were I him I would be asking questions about your earnings as 10k is very low given you mention you previously had a good career. I get the impression you are not looking to return to your previous career but start afresh in something else. Unless you live somewhere remote I would have thought you should be earning more. I understand you will have to pay for childcare but if it helps facilitate your career it will be worth it.

Yes my salary is very low at the moment unfortunately as I am working term time only. I've been applying for new jobs for some time now but have had no success yet and I have been retraining so I am hoping my salary will increase once I have finished my course and found a new job. It will is only like to be in the region of £20k p/a though to begin with. My previous career isn't one I could go back to easily now unfortunately

I am paying for my appointment with her, paying what feels like far too much!

You need to go through court to get the best settlement for you and your children. If you alert him to the fact as he's housed your children's needs will be given priority height move out from his gf and her child. I'd let your solicitor deal with it and not to agree to anything without solicitors advice. I initially asked for 50-50.on both our house and business, but exh wouldn't agree. It went to court. I was awarded half of our business and 65 percent of our house. Exh had to take out a huge loan to buy me out of our business. Exh tried to claim in court he did everything for business and I did nothing but I had 50 percent shares and without me to run the ordering, booking and staff wages, VAT etc. His business failed after about 18 months doing it on his own and he was left with his huge loan. Eldest DD at uni and 2 D's at home. Our eldest son refused to speak to his Dad and still doesn't 16 years later. DD rarely sees her Dad. Our youngest DS, who is an adult now, visits about every 6 weeks. My DC asked to spend every Xmas day with me and Boxing day with their Dad except eldest DS who refused to visit his Dad since he left.

This!