Link above by MN, to ADVICE NOW guides.
their guides cover the legal divorce petition process - you do NOT need a solicitor for this at all
There are guides for “diy” financial settlements including consent orders, and these explain what you should use solicitor for, what you might, and what you don’t need solicitor for. They explain the law around “fair settlement “ so you can understand what that will mean for your situation in terms of realistically what you’ll get financially - the starting point is NOT 50:50 as is often misquoted on this site.it is “fair settlement” and how that applies is totally dependant on your and stbexs circumstances .
the guides also tell you how to complete form E and D81. These are the legal financial declarations you both have to make. The guides,and forms, list all the assets that need to be included and that can , to some people, start to because scary and stressful- people often don’t realise that pensions are joint assets, and in England inheritances can’t be ring fenced unless very short marriages. And the guides will help you realise that your settlement has nothing to do with past behaviour, only future needs , no matter why you want to divorce, or the shit decisions or bad behaviours in your marriage (only exception are extreme like attempted murder)
you can then go to the government web site to get the forms E And D81 , look through them. Read the government site guides on them too. While your there also go through the whole gov divorce site including petition process- it a good site, very clear guides and the process is actually simple to follow. It’s people’s attitudes and situations that make it complex
My advice, if you want a quicker, cheaper, less stressful divorce is to also pass these documents to your stbex asap so he too can read and understand the process at same time as you’re doing this,
ADVICE NOW also has guides on child custody - didn’t use them myself but I imagine they’re very good like the financial ones.
Do NOT agree to any financial discussions, or even discuss, prior to both completing and excusing FormE /D81 (form E is the detailed, easier to start here, D81 is the summary - courts require D81 at minimum for consent orders, for court hearings they require more forms including formE. ) . You can both understand how fair settlement works, get a realistic assessment of what that’ll mean for you both, but don’t negotiate anything until declaration is done and you’re happy it’s accurate. It is a criminal offence to falsify information - 2 offences actually.
regarding solicitors- yes you can go off and get 3o mins free- but that
30 mins will only cover you telling solicitors about your circumstance, solicitor explaining very very briefly the process and then solicitor effectively doing a sales pitch. It will help you a lot less than downloading the guides, read, read, read some more . Go onto government site, read, read and read some more. Arm yourself with the knowledge first. Understand what’s the impact of the ”fair settlement” is on you first and what is reasonable to go for in settlement.
Then allow yourself time to come to terms with that . YOU WILL BE WORSE OFF . you both will be. It can be scary to face the reality of that. You need to be able to visualise your future in these new circumstances before you’re ready to start the process.
solcitors will cost you over £200 + vat per hour. If you’re both using them that’s double. That’s £3.33+for EVERY minute they’re listening to you explain, every minute they’re explaining a process you are perfectly capable of reading up on, every minute they’re thinking about your case, chasing with other parties solicitor, and doing tasks that you can do yourself. The ADVICE NOW guides will help you decide what tasks you need a solicitor for and for you to go then , with your information already prepared, to ask for that specific task and not waste money. It also will reduce time and stress- solicitors will take much longer to move stuff on than you will. Yes, you will need a solicitor , but it can be for very limited tasks, if you are both amicable, honest and you don’t have complexity like a business
too often, imho based on reading many many posts, people are going straight into negotiations or, god for it, solicitors, without understanding the law, without knowing what the assets are in terms of joint rights, and without having given themselves time to adjust to fact they’ll be poorer. That all them comes out during these negotiations and gets very acrimonious as you both go through a bit of the “grief pathway” and change cycle ( where denial, anger, etc comes into play).
you have to get to a point where you can park the anger until it’s over, and come at negotiations a little more dispassionately
Obviously in some cases it’s not possible to negotiate between you and then get your agreements “sealed” (approved) by the court. If you can’t agree, before you can get as far as letting courts decide, you MUST go to mediation now. I think there are exemptions for abusive situations but that’s it. The idea is that mediation using solicitors and yourselves will reach mutual agreement and can go a consent order route (consent order is the type of financial agreement you’ve agreed without court deciding- but it does need “sealing” still and a court can, in theory tell you they can’t seal if it doesn’t meet “fair settlement” )
can’t recommend ADVICE NOW enough. I spent probably a week going through everything myself getting to grips with process, what I could do, what I needed solicitor for and realising what the impact was on me. I took probably another 2 weeks to come to terms with reality of that, until I was ready to actual discuss with my ex.