Amicable divorce and splitting finances

[Dadlife85]

My and my wife are separated and have been since August 2022. We both have 50/50 of our two children and get on well as friends. We’ve recently been out for drinks to discuss moving forward and everything is really amicable.
We moved near to her parents and home town 10 years ago so when we did split she moved out of our family home. We have agreed to sell the house pay all our debts off and split the rest between us. Because I have been covering the increased mortgage costs solely and had additional building work done to the property since she moved out I have asked to have slightly bigger share. £30000 to me £25000 to her which she has agreed on.
After selling the house I am wanting to buy another property so my attention has now turned to getting the divorce sorted. We will be doing the joint application ourselves through the gov website. When the finances bit comes up do the court get involved in the split? She and I are both happy with the agreements we have come to. We both have small pensions which have only been going 6 years or so and neither are planning to bring them into the equation. I do earn more salary than her so does this mean the courts will get involved or can we agree amongst ourselves what we want to do?

To make the financial split formal (which is recommended to stop either of you making a claim against future income), you do need to complete a consent order which is signed off by a judge. You won't need to go to court and they may ask for more information if needed. Your split sounds fair but it is recommended where the split is uneven that both parties have legal advice and that this is noted in the consent order, to say that that you both understand what you've agreed to.

Might be worth having a session with a mediator, they can work with you both to make sure the agreement is fair and then write an order for the courts to approve.

My split has been fairly amicable in terms of the finances - I got a solicitor - filled in the D81 form myself and ex husband read it over. The split is around 70/30 in my favour and I keep all my pensions (which is significant compared to his). I earn 4x more than him. There was a section that asked for info as to why no pension sharing and how you reached the agreement so I just put in how I'm the primary parent and taking on all debt like loans etc. and childcare costs, you don't get much space to write everything.
Solicitor then drafted the financial consent order - basically stating who pays what to who and by when. Judge signed it off - mine was submitted and approved in about 10 days

Go to the link above MN have given to ADVICE NOW
they have brilliant “diy” downloadable guides that’ll walk you through entire process including checking “ fair settlement” legal rules are met, how to complete relavent form D81 and form E) which you’ll still need to submit to court ( well form d81 as a summary at least, but for, e is often easier to start on and then summarise on d81). The guides will tell you what you really shouldn’t use a solicitor for, what you might want to use one for, and what you really do need one for.
the government divorce site portal is good too- clear and easy to use.
ADVISE NOW also list some solicitors who’ll do just the specific tasks you need and won’t try the hard sell tactics.

they’re English/ welsh law charity but assume there’s something similar if in Scotland. Guides written by uk solicitors who believe using the law should be transparent and available and affordable to all- brilliant guides, brilliant charity.

Well, you need to formalise your agreement in some form, yes, but it won't be overruled.

For the record however, I think you're taking the piss. Where has she been living since you split? Has she been paying rent? so you've been paying more mortgage, but towards an asset while she's been paying rent and losing that money? And £50k difference for less than one year of living apart? Particularly galling considering that you are going ofr 50/50 care so she won't get any child maintenance but you are the higher earner so you're going to be better off longer term anyway.

I don't know why your wife agreed to a settlement that is so not in her favour. It makes me wonder what else is going on.

5K more not 50K and they have had additional building work done which probably wasn’t cheap. It seems fair.

Well as they are sharing children 50:50 the ex has no barrier to earning the same as ex-dh as she has no more obligations and responsibilities

Advice needed. 🙏
I divorce my ex husband 3 years ago. Amicable split. Both had no savings or mortgage. Did a simple divorce on gov.com.
It's three years on and my mum recently passed away and I'm due to inherit some money later in the year once probate has gone through. The ex is now asking for a clean belreak order because he's worried I can ask for half of his father's inheritance, pensions ect when he passes(which tbh I'm not interested in at all) Is he trying to set me up? Because if he pays for this form and I sign it could he still get access to the money I'm due to inherit as she passed away Dec 2023? Any help massively appreciated.

Post your own thread.
this has nothing to do with the Op’s question.

OhBling ... £5k difference between £30k and £25k.