My DH and I are discussing the possibility of divorce in the next couple of years. We’ve lived together for 10 years, married for 6. I have one DS (age 15) who lives with us the majority of the time, so DH is their stepdad. We’re both 52, so only 15 years off retirement age.
We’re in Scotland. He’s apparently already taken some legal advice re divorce. We have a mortgage with approx £160k equity, and I am a 20% shareholder in his main business. It pays me a small dividend every month. He has another smaller side business and says that, as he started that one after our marriage, I’d be entitled to 50% of the value of that one.
I have a small pension of £30k. His is £60k and he says I’m entitled to 50% of the amount that’s been amassed since our marriage but not previously.
He earns approx £55k pa, I earn £27k.
He also says that the solicitor told him that I would be entitled to him paying me some £ for a period of 3-5 years post-divorce so that my income doesn’t drop off a cliff edge if we split.
I’ve just been told all of this information last night, so it’s still new to me, and a bit of a shock too - we’re on a waiting list for marriage counselling, I didn’t think we were at the talking to solicitors stage yet. If we do decide to go ahead with a divorce, I’d like us to try and remain amicable so that the whole family has a reasonable relationship going forward. I don’t want to ‘take him for everything I can’ or anything like that. However, my dad passed away in 2021 and left me an inheritance of approximately £150k. In Scotland, inheritance is not counted as a marital asset. So if we divorce and go for a 50/50 split of assets, my DH will be worse off than I will as I’ll have that extra £150k. But he does have a much higher paid job, with the potential to earn even more, so could earn the equivalent of my inheritance in a few years, whereas I’ll never see that kind of money again. His parents will also leave him something decent if they can, although of course that can’t be guaranteed as they may require care or go into a home.
And I’m not exactly going to be having a luxurious old age either! I’d be using the inheritance plus my share of house equity to buy a tiny 2-bed flat with the smallest mortgage possible so that I could afford it on a single income and keep the mortgage term within my retirement age of 67. And teenagers aren’t cheap (although their bio dad also contributes and I’m sure my DH would want to help them in the future also).
I’m not sure what the best way forward would be. I don’t want to be unfair but I need to protect myself and my DS too. I’m obviously going to get proper legal advice myself, but has anyone else even been in a similar situation and can share any experience? Thanks.