Harassment from co-parent !

[Beebeepbob]

Hi I’m constantly harassed my Ex. Recently after contacting CMS and arranging child maintenance, it’s been absolutely relentless.
CMS have said I do not need to have contact with him regarding maintenance, but he won’t stop ( just perspective since last Tuesday I’ve had over 100 texts, 20 emails, 32 missed phone call’s and 9 voicemails)
he send me a message this morning just to let me know he would be messaging me later today…… it’s insane.
His messages used to be very nasty, now they’re more emotive, begging, pointing fingers, threatening changes to the kids rota, questioning my parenting. no name calling at the moment, always calls the kid’s “my children”. He has a victim mentality.
would I be able to get a non molestation order to get him to stop contact with me? It ruins my day and just makes me feel anxious and on edge constantly. Advice would be great.

• just for clarity, I never responded to his messages !! Apartment from asking him to please stop harassing me. TIA

This sounds awful. Use a parenting email account and tell him that is where you will co parent. Block him on your phone and email unless you need to keep in touch regarding your children. Could you afford another small phone just for his contact and get someone else to read messages? Give him one last message telling him that you consider this harassment and you will contact the police and do it.

I agree with all of this.

In addition, I would log it with the police. This is harassment.

Tell your ex very clearly that any more contact than eg. 3 texts and one email per week, directly related to child arrangements will be considered harassment and will be reported to the police.

Sorry, just seen that @LadyMacbethssweetArabianhand suggested logging it with the police too.

I think you have no alternative but to speak to the police if you warn him and his behaviour continues . His behaviour sounds manipulative controlling and sounds like harassment. That or he has the lost the plot completely.

You might want to tell him that you are finding his behaviour over the top and harassing and set out what is acceptable to you. If he continues then you have little option but to warm him you will be forced to report him. Sorry you are having to deal with this.

@Beebeepbob wow I'm not surprised you feel on edge, that is past excessive! No answers but really hope you are able to get something in place to stop the harassment.

You need to tell him in writing preferably by email -so you have proof you told him to stop and why - to stop sending you so many messages as it is harassment and preventing you go about your business.

Make sure you keep all his multiple messages.

Then when he continues because people like that do - my DP has experience of it as not all perpetrators are male - look online and complete a Form FL401.

Ideally you want a direct access barrister for your hearing to help ensure he gets a non-molestation order. Unfortunately they aren't guaranteed but your ex is a classic case of harassment.

You can go to the police but unless he threatens you with violence he will be allowed to continue for a long time before they actively deal with him.

Charities like the Suzy Lamplugh trust can give advice on dealing with people like him.

Oh and look up parallel parenting.

Not every separated couple of parents can co-parent.

Thank you so much for the advice. I’m thinking I may pop into the police station on Monday and speak to a domestic abuse office about the harassment. I feel completely drain by the relentlessness.

May I ask how you got on with the Police? My daughter is experiencing exactly the same, her ex is a text book Narcissist and constantly manipulates and bombards her with messages if she says no to him, problem is he’s very calculating and careful with what he says and evens turns it back onto her. It’s a living nightmare that she will have for years over the children.

ive Had exactly the same situation. Police referred me for domestic abuse support but I was told because the harassment is in relation to matters concerning our child (mainly lies and manipulation) then it’s unlikely I would be granted a non-molestation order. Could you let us know how you got on?