I've been separated from my ex for 9 months (mostly). We have tried working on things during periods throughout this time whilst living separately. It occurred to me a week ago that we are done. That he has not changed and does not want to change after he did something that upset me. I cancelled our relationship counsellor and told him that we had made zero progress and that I need to now focus on myself and my own life. I am emotionally drained.
This week however, he has stayed at the house twice (in the spare room) to help with the children as our autistic child is struggling with change and would not stay at his Dad's house on his nights. Yet he wanted to see his Dad. He is going through big changes at school too so we decided not to push it with him and my ex stayed to just help with him and see our children. Nothing emotionally happened between us.
He has this morning suggested that we do something together for father's day. I feel guilty saying no because he's been so helpful whilst staying here the last 2 days. However I am struggling emotionally now that I know our relationship is definitely dead. I feel stressed about it because I don't want to spoil his father's day but I already feel uncomfortable about the last 2 days he's spent here with us. But he will see it as me using him for help and then spoiling his father's day by saying I won't spend time with him and the children which I do understand.
I've asked him exactly what he wants us to do together as a family and he just says "I don't know" and this stresses me out too because I don't even know what he's expecting us to do for the day. I see myself getting frustrated with him and I don't want to do that on father's day either.
What do I do?
Also, I didn't expect him to spend mothers day with me! I spent it with my mum!