Accused of parental alienation

[BlastedPimples]

Divorcing after a long marriage.

Stbx was verbally and physically abusive to me. Verbally abusive to the dcs and occasionally physical. They insist now they don't want to see or speak to him at all. Ages 18, 16, 13 and 10.

He's left to live with his girlfriend. We don't live in same country. We are getting a U.K. divorce. He's being prosecuted for assault in the country where I currently live.

In his Form E, he's accusing me of parental alienation. It's nonsense but he clearly can't believe the dcs do not want to see him.

They've all blocked his number on their phones. Don't want birthday or Father's Day cards.

Will his accusations hold water? What can he do? He's very sly, very manipulative and very dishonest. I almost pity his new gf because she has absolutely no idea what a snake she's got herself involved with.

I am genuinely worried for the physical and psychological safety of my dcs if they see him again.

I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. That happens way to often in the family courts.
See if this might help - https://iamlip.com/parental-alienation/ I used the website when I couldn't afford solicitors so hopefully this answers your question.

Family Court has no duristriction over the 18yr old, and a new child arrangement order will not be made for a 16yr old.

The 13yr old will be listened to as to what they want. It is only the 10yr old you'd need to worry about.

Well, we are currently resident in a different country so unless we have to return to the U.K. (very possible), we are safe for now.

Thank you so much for the link @Anita848. I'm going to liaise with my solicitor over it.

So my ten year old - soon to be 11 - won't be listened to like the 13 year old?

Your nearly 11 year old will be listened to, just more carefully than your 13 year old, to make sure it's actually their own opinion.

Form E? Is there any application for child arrangements or are you just sorting out the finances? If it's on form E it sounds like the latter. How is he trying to connect alienation and finances?

Did you move countries or did he? Reason I ask is that a court is not going to order you to uproot to have contact if he chose to leave the country but if you left the country it could count against you as evidence of parental alienation (remember its on the balance of probabilities in a civil matter, so what counts as evidence is wider including hearsay), so the circumstances make a big difference (although as other posters have already said, it's only really the 10 year old that could be forced to have contact with the other parent and then only if the court is not convinced that they don't want to do so).

@BetterFuture1985 no. We moved here for stbx's work. The dcs and I love it. Stbx started an affair, flipped out, attacked me, faked a suicide attempt and is now living back in U.K. with his affair partner.

We want to stay here but I'm not sure it's possible. Expensive. Not sure yet if I can get them into local schools. English speaking local schools.

@Mia85 yes Form E.

There's a section on it which asks you describe your current state of health. He says not seeing the dcs is affecting him greatly.

I guess he should have thought of that before being verbally abusive to them.

So he's not actually trying to get an order about the children, he's just sounding off on Form E? I would certainly check it with your solicitor but family lawyers/courts are used to people bad mouthing their ex in ways that are completely irrelevant to the actual question.

He can hardly accuse you of alienation if he chose to leave the country. He would be laughed out of court.

Well the dcs don't want to see or speak to him. They've blocked him on their phones. They want nothing to do with him, you see.

Which he can't believe is happening unless I have had something to do with it.

They've witnessed some horrible violence from him to me. Suffered verbal abuse and mild physical aggression from him themselves. He's lied to them. They feel he tricked them.