Don’t know what to expect

[Twogorgeousgirls7]

I separated from my husband 6 months ago from a controlling and coercive relationship albeit subtle. From the moment I left the family home he made it very clear that he wouldn’t be supporting me financially in any way. Which he hasn’t. If I were to have the children staying with me at all I had to be in a property that was suitably furnished to his acceptable standard. My eldest is with me most of the time (16) and my youngest is still at the family home. I haven’t had them here to stay for the past four weeks.

we’ve been together for 18 years, married for nearly 13. Two kids, mortgage paid off. No maintenance paid, no financial support. He earns more than double my salary, I am renting but can’t afford it past spring next year

i know that I need to file for divorce but there are so many things I don’t know if anyone out there can help

1. if the marriage certificate has been locked away and I can’t access it, is it easy to get a copy?
2. How long will a divorce take to go through
3. I don’t want to demand access to my youngest but he’s not encouraging any time spent together, in fact, seems to be arranging activities that cause a block to me seeing them
4. the mortgage is paid off on the house but my name has never been on it. Am I entitled to 50%?
5. same for pensions?
6. How soon could the financial order be in place?
7. would I be entitled to any form of financial support from him

I’m sure I have loads more questions but feeling totally lost!

Honestly, I think best thing would be to get an appointment with a good family lawyer. Your husband doesn't get to vall all the shots here.

The house would be considered a marital asset, yes.

I would get an appointment ASAP. You are probably in a much stronger position than you think.

The house and pensions will be considered marital
assets so you’re entitled to a fair share
this could be more or less than 50%

in regards ongoing financial support to you this is unlikely

see a solicitor

I'm not sure if you're in Scotland so this might not be appropriate but you can claim interim maintenance if you have a need - housing costs for example - and he has the means to do so. This is payable from separation to divorce.

cms might be due but seems that as you have one child each currently probably cancels out

Your needs are also not greater than his if you are both housing one child each

what financial support post separation/ divirce are you expecting ?

If your house is sold, would half the proceeds be enough for you to buy anywhere? If so, you wouldn't need to be renting or have financial support (beyond any CMS).

Just a thiught: might be worth registering your home rights with the Land Registry?
.I still think you need a solicitor pdq at least for initial advice

But I have to pay rent and he has nothing to pay as the house is paid off? Would that be right?

why did you move out ?

move back in and sane the rent

One if the reasons you need to get legal advice

House would be part of the marital assets... it can be sold and you each get x % ... thst would hopefully enable you to buy somewhere. Don't assume he keeps the house - yours would be deemed a long marriage and as such, assets considered joint.

Make a list of what you know about-, house, pensions, savings etc and get a good solicitor yo outline a likely split. Then you can consider your options.

I get what you’re saying

ultim you’ll get your fair share of nariral
assets. In the interim you’re paying rent having moved out of fmh while he gets the benefit of living there with no mortgage payment each month. Therefore your having to pay each ml yh while he us not

you could try to claim maintenance pending suit and either do so or ask him
for a contribution while telling him you’re about to go this route. What your y if success is I don’t know

or you move back in to the fmh and save the rent

You need a solicitor asap.

Unless he's a high income earner ( £200k +) or there's significant mitigating factors and a higher income court ordered spousal support is unlikely but you could be awarded more settlement and child support.

Divorce takes around 8 months typically, you can get a copy of your marriage certificate. You will need a solicitor if he's hiding assets etc. but you can file initially online to get the ball rolling.

Unfortunately you shouldn't have moved out is the answer you'll get. Not helpful. Go onto the government portal today for divorce because if you married in the U.K. you may not even need the certificate because they will have it recorded.

unfortunately I had no other choice than to move out due to DA, emotional rather than physical but I couldnt let the children be exposed to that. My eldest has actually told me that they were cross it took me so long to do it as he was being so manipulative. He is a good father (now, though was pretty absent up until all this happened) but the environment just became too toxic. The one positive I can take

Use this - it'll answer most of your questions https://www.iamlip.com/
Good luck with everything, and I'm proud of your decision to leave. You deserve better xxx