I have been with my husband for 18 years.
we have 3 young children. I have always been very social able - him not so much but he is fun.
he started getting really odd a year ago, commenting on my outfits, being moody etc. the marriage declined due to his mood and me feeling fed up with dealing with his comments plus the kids. If he was watching something I didn’t like on TV I would go upstairs alone and catch up on my phone with friends or read articles after a busy day with work/kids.
With all of them in school since a year ago I have had slightly more freedom in terms of them being more independent. I have suggested numerous times for him to plan more date nights etc but he doesn’t bother. Therefore I make plans with friends, not even that often maybe once a month and it’s usually a dinner or a lunch so never back late.
I also work in a very large team, there are males and females and we all work in a stressful environment where we overlap a lot and need to communicate regularly. We message about work things and personal things (all of the men are married and/or gay other than one who I actually tried to set up with a mutual friend). We send each other photos of what we are upto now and again/ cook for each other etc. We have a laugh together at work. We go out maybe once every 3 months.
husband started going really off asking so many questions - does anyone by you coffee/ do you think it’s ok for a man to make a married woman food etc. he asked me why I am wearing perfume, my work outfit is too tight etc. I basically told him to piss off each time.
Asked me if I send photos to any of the guys from work aggressively on Friday past, I said yes (these are mostly random things with my kids or pics of food etc). He demanded to see my phone as he said he’s been having a “bad feeling” about me cheating . There is NOTHING flirtatious between anyone at work, never has been and there are numerous females some younger some older in this group who communicate with males as I do.
I refused to show my phone on demand as husband was being aggressive and he made a comment already saying he’s made his mind up that once when he came to pick me up I looked “flirty” outside my workplace… (I knew he was right there even if I wanted too which I do not).
so he said he wants a divorce because I wouldn’t show my phone and thinks I am flirting with work colleagues… I’m not even upset as I don’t want a relationship like this but I’m not wondering if its bad that I didn’t agree to show him my phone.