AIBU to expect to have met ex's partner by now

[NextStopDivorce]

Name change and being brief with details so as not to out. Just interested in perspectives and genuinely not sure if I have wrong expectations.

Ex Spouse (amicable, separated over 3y; we'll divorce in about a year). 50/50 childcare arrangement with our two teenage children.

Ex lives fairly locally and has had a partner for nearly 2 years. They don't live together but spend lots of time / overnights including partner being there when my children are there. They're going on a holiday abroad in a few weeks - Ex, Partner, our two children and the partner's children.

I'm finding it increasingly strange that the ex still hasn't introduced me to their partner, given how serious it clearly is and how much time, inc holiday, the partner is around my children. To be clear it's obviously not at all an 'approval'/ 'permission' thing and more just a courtesy, on both sides actually. And not thinking about some awkward meeting but even a casual 'they just happen to be in the car at drop off' kind of thing would break the ice at least.

AIBU to think ex introducing us both would be a positive/courteous step?

A courtesy to you as what?

No, she doesn’t need to meet you.

I met DH in 2006 and still haven't met his ex wife. I suspect DH's son will get married in the next few years, so I may meet her then.

My DP has been separated (but not yet divorced) over 3 years from his exW and has never questioned the status of the relationship with the "friend" that caused their separation even though he's been on the scene for years and have had hols away with their children etc so, yes, I am with you on feeling like you'd like to meet the new partner, especially with them being very local etc but I get that some people find it OK not to, I think it's quite a personal thing.

Thanks for all the responses, it's been very helpful to understand from different experiences and perspectives, including particularly making me take into account ex's partner's wishes.

Thanks too to those who posted to say they could understand where I was coming from.

On balance I see that perhaps having an 'expectation' is unreasonable. That said, as and when I have a significant partner of my own I think I will act differently and (as long as partner and ex want it to happen, of course) introduce the two.

"That said, as and when I have a significant partner of my own I think I will act differently and (as long as partner and ex want it to happen, of course) introduce the two."

You need to let go, seriously. You're not that important to your ex any more. Even less so by the time you get serious with someone else. It'll just be odd.

I think I will act differently and (as long as partner and ex want it to happen, of course) introduce the two.

That’s precisely the point, you c

Sorry. You couldn’t make a new man meet your ex anymore than your ex could insist his new partner meets you. She may have been fine with it and he wasn’t keen or the other way round. New partners have an equal say to the exes.

I doubt your ex would be interested in meeting anyone you’re dating, that would be okay.

I would find it very very strange for my childhood know someone for so long that I had never met.
I met DH's ex (mum of my DSS) about 4 weeks after meeting my later to be stepson. She was very welcoming (both happy to be separated by that point). It was such a good thing for DSS to see us all be civil and together.

But you don’t get to agree or disagree…

This