Cafcass first appointment

[beliveinlifeafterlove]

Hello,

I have my first CAFCASS, appointment next week after finally feeling empowered enough to launch a c100.

I'm quite nervous about it. I have no family in the UK and want to move home with my daughter in time for her to begin school. I was isolated and overburdened throughout my marriage which led to a breakdown last August , my marriage then ended and my mum moved here to support me, all MH professionals have been very complimentary about how I've managed my MH since.

I'm nervous though - my ex has unlimited financial resources for solicitors from his parents. I don't have access to the same financial resources. Do I realistically have a chance of moving to my home country with my daughter in time for her to begin school?

How can I prepare for CAFCASS?

I often wonder how many cafcass and court employees would put themselves through this barbaric system, or stay in abusive relationships to protect the children.

You keep ranting without answering the key questions.

1. How often does she currently see her father?
2. How often will she see him if she lives in Ireland?
3. How much of the travel from Ireland to England (or whatever country it is) will you arrange and pay for?

Sending you lots of strength op

Watch out
Cafcass are bloody useless

And follow some very good points here

I too am Irish
I fled extreme dv the day my girls father tried to kill us both

He tried to convince cafcass that it was lies they were dreadful and treated me appallingly

Thankfully we had been in Ireland for 18 months we left when she was 3 weeks and it was her permanent residence

It was so so hard
Be prepared

Get good legal advice too

He can’t make you move nearer him. And 50/50 wont work when your DD starts school. But the only solution to those problems isn’t moving to Ireland. I can see it’s what you want, but not how the 2 things are connected. So have a think before Cafcass come

OP as another poster has said, it’s not us you need to convince. The courts are obsessed with kids seeing their fathers. Even in cases with proven abuse of the children.

if he’s got money to throw at this and wants to use this process to control and abuse you, the courts absolutely will enable him.

they don’t care about your mental health and the impact that has on your daughter, or the practicalities of you earning a living. All they care about is maintaining contact with the dad.

it’s horrifying.

OP you seem determined to believe living in Ireland will be better for your child than having regular access to both parents. No court will agree with you unless he is abusive. All the trees and butterflies and magic schools are not more important than your child having a relationship with both parents

Even if he is abusive they won’t take that as a reason to grant permission to move to ROI.

You're creating a case for him to apply for primary residence.

This, and probably get it.

OP, you need to think of another plan. You’re not moving to Ireland and you can’t stay in your house. Meanwhile he has stable accommodation with family.

I'd probably join a few cafcass groups on FB and pose your question on them.

You really need to be careful here.

If he's a real arsehole I think he's could easily end up using a lot of your case against you and ask to be the primary carer based on your admission about support needs and mental health.

Are you on speaking terms at all? Have you got any sense or what he wants out of this?

You just never know right??

Mine fcker tried to do the same

Even after the major attack

Stay strong OP
I know it is so hard

Op, we understand your arguments to move but the landscape has changed so much (in the last 20 years) that your arguments don't stand up against the strong theme of dad's access.

It may be difficult for you to relate to it but please believe us. I know of a mother who wanted to move just over an hour away (for very sensible & genuine reasons) and the Dad took it to court and threw every accusation at the mother (such as lazy, irresponsible, reckless, unstable) just to damage the reputation of the mother. I was horrified that Cafcass appeared to side so quickly with the Dad, such is the over whelming focus on treating fathers favorably.

In that case the child was deemed just old enough to have a say so a judge decided to listen..a year younger and the mother could have lost.

All you can do is focus on how you will facilitate access for the Dad, how you will always consult him on parenting choices and be flexible with contact.

Show a solid plan for the move, such as job, housing and finances. Would you be prepared to fly with your child at least one way to enable contact? These are the factors that will influence a Cafcass officer...Trust me when I say that most are absolutely not interested in you as a person. You could be Mother Teresa yet they are likely to write something negative about you - the most important part of their report is the recommendation. If they state there are plans to facilitate contact with the Dad a judge may agree.