Child Maintenance - how to broach the subject

[Turtle71]

I do not know how to broach the subject of child maintenance when he says he barely has enough money to live on.

We have separated and are selling the family home with a view to sharing the equity equally. Our 7 year old lives with me and we are staying with family for now and he is still living in the house while it sells.

We have created sole accounts for our salaries to go into and then transfer money into the house joint account each month. As I earn more, I agreed to pay a higher percentage into the joint account until the house sells.

He does not have her overnight but does take her to school and picks her up between 1 and 4 days per week depending on his shift pattern. He also has her on weekend days if he isn't working, but never overnight, and I provide all her food on the days he has her.

At the moment, he isn't paying anything towards her upkeep and I pay for her food, clothing, clubs, activities etc.

I am trying to keep things amicable so haven't asked for any child maintenance at this point but feel that I should be raising it as something he needs to pay once the house is sold and I have to find a new place to buy/rent.

Any suggestions on how to do this when I know he is going to say he can't afford it? Am I being unreasonable, expecting him to pay CM?

No you're not being unreasonable at all. If you know his salary input it into the CMS calculator and that will tell you the minimum he needs to pay.
I didn't ask for maintenance for almost a year because my ex played the poor me card and I felt sorry for him, he then started paying what he felt like so I went to CMS.
Your daughter is entitled to the money, as are you.

Just ask him whether he would rather sort out payments directly or if he would rather it go through CMS (some people prefer the impersonal aspect) so he then knows he needs to pay. He will already be fully aware it’s expected but is doing what he can to get out of it and preempt by telling you he has no money. Tough! He had a child to support.

Just put your claim through the CMS that way they deal with everything and you don't have to say anything to him.

It might be easier to get the sale of the house done first. Then I’d just put in the cms claim. If he’s an arse he may stop picking up from school as doesn’t want to facilitate your new single life/ has to increase hours as you are taking all his money etc. I’d check out after school care just in case.

Thank you, I will have a look at the CMS calculator and see what it says

Thank you, that's a good way of broaching it. Not sure he is aware it is expected and think it will come as a shock to him!

Thank you, I was thinking that he might stop doing the school run as he has moaned about still having to do it already but guess that's just something I will deal with at the time and ultimately he would be missing out on time with her.

And stop paying for her food while she's with him! That's ridiculous.

I know! but the one time I didn't, she came home after a whole day and had only eaten some chocolate and was starving, so I pack her a big food bag as I don't want her to go hungry again.