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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Child Maintenance

43 replies

Stepmamof1 · 09/06/2023 14:18

Hi All,

I am after a bit of advice.

My husband has a soon from his previous marriage and we have a joint bank account so have been paying his ex-wife directly into her bank each month since he started secondary school.

My stepson is now 18 and left college for the last time today.

Where do we stand with Child Maintenance payments? I know the government says it is payable up to the age of 16 or 20 if still in full time education.

Would our last payment we made have been the last one or do we need to continue paying until the end of the school year next month?

Any advice would be greatfully received

Thanks

OP posts:

beachcitygirl · 09/06/2023 17:30

Poor kid. Poor ex wife.

Original poster

Stepmamof1 · 09/06/2023 17:35

@beachcitygirl not that it matters but if you met the ex-wife you wouldn't be saying that.

At the end of the day like I have said before I came on here for some advice.

Was hoping that someone who had been in the same situation could maybe help.

OP posts:

Coffeepot72 · 09/06/2023 17:37

So at what age do people think you can reasonably stop CMS payments? This is reminding me of a rather sad/ridiculous thread recently, discussing weekend access arrangements for ‘child’ in his early 20s.

Coffeepot72 · 09/06/2023 17:40

OP - to answer your question, DH paid maintenance payments until the month that DSS left sixth form. We then chose (but were not legally obliged) to help him financially during Uni, but obviously we paid him the money directly.

RandomMess · 09/06/2023 17:40

If it was via CMS it would be until 31st August

excelledyourself · 09/06/2023 17:52

My son technically finished school in the June and my ex paid until the end of August.

gogohmm · 09/06/2023 18:02

Personally I would suggest paying july and august, then afterwards you need to establish what he us doing, any support can go straight to him in theory but not if he can't be trusted to pass on board money to his mum

BaronessEllarawrosaurus · 09/06/2023 18:08

ArnoldBee · 09/06/2023 14:56

Maintenance is payable whilst their is an entitled to child benefit which is usually the first Monday in September.

THIS☝

June/July/August payments are due but your dh needs to discuss with his ex and ds beyond that.

ArcticSkewer · 09/06/2023 18:16

The earliest you would finish it would be end August. Probably best to discuss that with either him or him and the ex for next steps as well though.
He may move in with you both instead for example, if his mum can't afford to support him any more once cm finishes

Lonecatwithkitten · 09/06/2023 18:22

Letter from CMS last year when DD finished 6th form last payment is August. If going on to Uni the young adult should make and independent arrangement with the paying parent,

beachcitygirl · 09/06/2023 18:24

Stepmamof1 · 09/06/2023 17:35

@beachcitygirl not that it matters but if you met the ex-wife you wouldn't be saying that.

At the end of the day like I have said before I came on here for some advice.

Was hoping that someone who had been in the same situation could maybe help.

Maybe so. Maybe she's the devil incarnate

But unless you're inviting your step child to live with you, there will be living expenses & no teen that age can earn enough to live independently or buy/rent property.

It seems so so wrong that fathers can just legally "opt" out of all financial support. So wrong.
Coming on here to figure out how soon you can stop paying seems repugnant.

I'm sorry you can't see that.

Coffeepot72 · 09/06/2023 18:27

It seems so so wrong that fathers can just legally "opt" out of all financial support. So wrong.
Coming on here to figure out how soon you can stop paying seems repugnant.

Is it so wrong for the ‘child’ to do some paid work, and pay their mum ‘board’ each week?

ErinAoife · 09/06/2023 18:39

In my situation, our divorce agreement stipulates that the ex-husband has to pay child maintenance if they are in full-time education until the kids reach 23 years of age. Thank god for the agreement as the ex-husband wanted to stop maintenance when my eldest finished secondary school. I have to remind him that he has to pay until our son is 23 years old and told him to pay it directly to our son. I do give my son the same amount as his father gave him despite earning way less than ex-husband.

beachcitygirl · 09/06/2023 18:51

@Coffeepot72 of course not, if jobs available, if no additional needs etc. That hasn't been brought up as part of this thread tho? Unless I'm mistaken.
It's a conversation and a compromise between both parents.
Even doing work and paying some board won't be sufficient.
It's not the era when kids left school at 16 and walked into a job or when there were 💯 % mortgages etc

Most kids are still at home until early 20's.
Jobs don't grow on trees.
Yet a lot of dads get to stop paying. Like I say repugnant

Silvergoldandglitter · 09/06/2023 18:57

It's payable until the end of August.

Orangeradiorabbit · 09/06/2023 19:07

The end of August date is correct. As others have mentioned, it coincides with the end of child benefit.

After child benefit has stopped, the child can claim universal credit/jobseekers allowance if they are working under 16 hours a week and looking and available for work (I.e. not in full time education), so that can help with board if they don't immediately go into full time employment. A lot of 18 year olds do this.

Cauliflowercheeses · 09/06/2023 19:56

I get what you are asking, OP.
The maintenance would stop as others have suggested at the end of August.
as others have said though (and I’m sure you’re not suggesting this) he will still need some kind of support so maybe DH could pay him directly. I definitely wouldn’t be giving it to the mum. In my mind it’s up to the mum to get her son to pay her board…..Or he could get a full time job!!

My situation is similar. I never asked for a penny from my ex as we had the kids 50/50. Oldest decided to move in with dad when he was 19 (closer to work, less rules and I was charging him board) then his dad asked me could I start contributing as DS was eating him out of house and home….I reminded ex that our darling nineteen year old had a full time job, no outgoings and had plenty to spend on beer and takeaways maybe he could charge him board. He felt that was inappropriate. I’ve left them to it 🤣

Franseen · 12/06/2023 13:42

I’d pay until the end of term, even if he’s not got any more classes he’s enrolled until late July. So one more payment.

Where SS lives next and how he pays for it is down to him; he’s an adult. None of this should be a surprise to him or his mum.

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