Coming to terms with the decision

[TroubledOne88]

… to divorce. How do you do it?

I’m having a hard time wrapping my head around wanting to divorce my H. We’re just not a good match, all the intimacy is gone. He’s a caring guy, we’re just massively lacking connection and attraction.

So even though I’m the one wanting to initiate the proceedings, I feel a mixture of sadness, guilt and resentment towards my past self. Why did I make those decisions, why I asked him out, why I stated the wedding talk, just rushed into everything wanting something real.

And here I am, few years later, contemplating divorce.
How can I trust my judgement ever again?

I don't have any advice other than to say don't give yourself a hard time. You didn't plan for this to happen.

Thank you😌

It’s a process, counselling might help?
I was the instigator and if I dared express any sadness or how I it was difficult for me too I got a barrage from STbxH about how oh it was difficult for ME was it? Well it was my choice and my fault. Basically I wasn’t allowed to have those feelings in his eyes as I was imposing the decision on him.
when infact I was still really sad about it but felt I needed to be the grown up one and say this isn’t good for either of us and there’s no coming back from it.