My eldest want to live with her gambler Dad and forcing my middle child to follow her on so my youngest will automatically follow them too..

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My kids are 18, 14 and 10.

My Austistic 18 yr old is angry with me cos i used to hide the snacks and we used to clash in arguments as we are alike. I stopped to have these arguments cos it wasnt getting anywhere as she sees everything in black and white, never grey areas.. she brings every arguments up from yrs ago!

She is forcing my 14 yr old to follow her on, just so my 10 yr can too...

14 y old is not sure where to live now as she didnt know why we were splitting up till i told her,....as he is using the kids to hurt me. I didnt wanna tell the kids why..but we were gonna tell them together that we are divorcing...
he went behind my back and told them but not the gambling bit.

As the kids dont want to split up.

My 10 y old doesnt know anything and ex is saying hes got no say in this cos hes too young......i know for the fact he will choose me as we are joined to the hip!! Due to his hobbies that i take him to.

So heres my question....

Now my ex is pushing me to make a UC claim as hes asking me if i accepted that the kids are going to live with him...whether i like it or not, so he can start running the house!?.....and i to come out of our bedroom to go in the back living room on the couch/sofa as that will become my bedroom. He been sleeping on the front living rooms couch cos our bed is awful for his back.

Hes a gambler, im a moaner for the past 10 yrs.

He thinks cos the 2 eldest said they want to live with him..it starts now. He need to start running the house. He never done it before so it will be all new to him. Theres me thinking....'No, that is when we've sold our house and he got own place, the kids will move in with him"

Am i right???

Hes out 5-6 nights a week at pool, he normally out 3 nights a week for the past 30 odd years. He told the 2 eldest, hes gonna tone down the pool nights. As if!! As they will be babysitting the youngest whilst hes out.

If he's a gambling addict there's no way I'd trust him to run the house.

Sounds like the house needs to be sold and each find somewhere new. Getting him out or being forced out as it sounds like what he's aiming for will be awful.

What do you want? DH doesn’t get to dictate what happens. Starting point would be 50:50 custody of the children and of equity in the house. Can either of you afford to buy the other out? If not then house may need to be sold. 18 year old is an adult and likely doesn’t feature in custody or maintenance agreement but the 2 younger children would. Are you main carer? I would stay right where you are on your own room until you have agreed what happens with living arrangements.

@gamerchick the house is already on the market and he would be very happy if i left him the house and the kids.... well, not over my dead body.

@Patchworksack yes i am aware of my 18 y old as if she want to live with her Dad then ill respect her wish....even though she doesnt realised that she will become me...becoming a housewife to her Dad so it be a big shock to both of them cos im not there to do their things.

I wanted 50/50 but he wanted all the kids...hes doing it to punish me cos i asked for a divorce. The house is gonna be split as 50/50.

No i cant afford to buy him out as we're skint cos of his addiction and im no longer employed but is seeking for another job.

Yes i am the main carer. Ex just take the 14 y old to her football club/matches 3 times a week. I do sometimes but i mainly take my youngest to his hobbies 3-4 times a week.

And yes thats what i thought that im staying in my bedroom. Hes not pushing me out of there

It’s really unlikely a court would grant him full custody but they would listen to what the children wanted - and it would be better if you can agree custody/access between you. If 14 yr old wants (or is being influenced) to go with him and 10 year old wants to stay with you is that a good starting point? Each with weekend access to the non resident child? You might find when he shows his true colours they are very happy to come back to you!

Now ex is threatening me via whatsapp to get out of our bedroom into the back room and he is claiming for uc with the kids cos he think it starts now...i told him today that im claiming it (which ive already done this week, just waiting for the call back) along with the kids because im the main carer to them from day one. Once we sell this house and he got his own house, i will notify uc that the kids are living with him. (I will fight for my 2 youngest as hes a gambler and he wants the child maintenance off me!!).

Gobshite

He practically want me to move out asap

When i told him that im claiming atm , this afternoon. He was fine with it and gave me a thumbs up. I was shocked that he was calm but now hes pissed off..again.

Ive just told him to stop threatening me..again.

Something is not right here, I don't trust this OP. A lot of abuse shown towards her ex.