50/50 - should I wait and see how it works out???

[Magmum75]

H wants 50/50 upon moving out, his lifestyle is all work/socialising/new GF not parenting and especially so since I initiated the split. I really think he hasn't a clue how much he will have to change his lifestyle. I'm wondering if I should wait to see if he steps up before sorting the finances/divorce. It's just one teen child involved, will it make much difference to what settlement I get (ie housing needs) if he ends up being a EOW (or less) dad???

The bigger things will be

ages
earnings and potential
assets available
length of marriage

even if he has 60:0 or eow he’ll still need same as you re housing

what does your teen want - usually not happy with eow type schedules. How close will you be living ?

If you opt for 50:50 he will not need to pay any maintenance for your child. If he hasn’t been great with your child then he might not even bother seeing them much, so you could be left to parent and pay for everything and he could just do what he feels like, the courts don’t force people to see their children if they don’t want to . If you do 60:40 he has to pay maintenance and you get more equity and your housing needs will more important because you have the teen more often. Make sure you find out what his pension is worth as well. Legal representation is expensive so ensure that you have money stashed away for that.

You won’t automatically get more just because you have your teen at home a bit more…..
yes you’d get cns but no guarantee you’d be entitled to any higher share of assets

Why shouldn’t he have 50/50?

Is the plan to live near each other?

As you have a teen, you need to talk to him. Legally he can choose how much he sees each parent and might not want 50/50.

If the child is a teen it doesn't matter what either of you want, they can choose. If they wanted to spend more time with dad than you the court wouldn't stop them. Similarly if dads been a bit crap and teenager can't be arsed with him then the teenager can do that.

It's the child wanting 50/50 (H went along with it more to save face than admit that wasn't what was in his mind). My hunch is he will let her down a lot, but I guess that's the road we'll have to travel ...

The CM is a bit unclear as I understand that a true 50/50 split means no payments required either way, but if that isn't the true picture at what point can you make a CMS claim, how do you prove a different scenario??

I won't focus on differing housing needs as it sounds like they would be very similar whatever the living arrangements turned out.