Advice on family home sale

[Lahaina01]

Separated 7 years ago by mutual agreement and I went to live with parents as not enough equity to buy two properties. Wife stayed in joint family home with children. We had no formal agreement in place. I have the children every weekend at my parents house, sleeping on the sofa to accommodate everyone.
Wife decided last year to sell property and buy home with new partner but wanted me to take minimal amount of equity (less than 10%) so she and partner could be mortgage free (he has lots of equity in his current home). She earns slightly more than me and neither of us have a pension. I’ve paid maintenance throughout and have been in no position to buy or rent anywhere myself with the leftover income. She has accrued savings due to all sources of income - benefits/tax credits etc.
We agreed in March, via mediation, that the equity would be split 60/40 in her favour on the understanding the house was put on the market immediately, as we still have one dc - a 15 year old. Or 50/50 if house not sold until he’s 18.
The house is still not on the market and she is now asking for 12-18 months to get the house sold but still wants 60% - our dc will be 17 by this point. I feel that I’d be better to wait until he’s 18 if that’s the case, having waited so long already, as 10% is a lot of money to me and I still won’t be in a position to buy.
I’m waiting on a response from my solicitor but just wanted any advice if anyone has been in a similar position. Thanks.

You need to see a lawyer, don’t agree to anything without advice.

You e been far too generous aready
stick to your guns
see a solicitor and babe sure you get your fair share

Thanks, I won’t. My solicitor advised (to keep the matter out of court) to go with 60/40 if house sells this year, 55/45 after that and 50/50 once child is 18.
Ex now pushing for longer at 60/40. If she drags her feet (it’s already a year since she first wanted to sell), I continue to be without any share of the equity and with no more at the end of it.
I’m just waiting on the solicitors thoughts but thought I’d see if anyone had been in same situation.

Personally I'd stick to the original agreement, if it sells before the dc is 28, it's 60/40, if not it's 50/50. You've already been hugely accommodating, she's taking the piss now

Why are you being such a mug? Get what you're owed. She's a piss taker.

She, and therefore your children now have an assured home with the help of her new partner. Now is the time to insist the house is sold and you get your fair share, I'm not sure of the division ratio but a good solicitor is looking at what the law gives you. Stop bending over backwards and being shafted!

She’s taking the mickey. How are you going to rehouse and what about your pension? Are you going to stay living with your parents while she buys a house, mortgage free? You should be considering your future too.

Sounds like a classic case of emotional blackmail to me. A lot of ex-husbands succumb to it in divorce unfortunately, where they end up in some grotty shared house or living back with their parents because their ex-wives pretend to be a hopeless case and invoke the needs of the children to get their way (if these ex-wives actually had the needs of the children at the forefront of their minds, they'd work their arses off getting a proper job and being able to take on a mortgage on their own).

Essentially, she is cohabiting now so she and her partner can go and get a new house with a mortgage together. It is utterly insane that she thinks she can be mortgage free whilst you have to start from scratch and a judge would spit feathers if he heard the suggestion.

I would recommend you don't let this drag on. Get the matter to mediation, go through the motions and if she is not agreeing to an immediate sale with a 50/50 split then take her sorry arse to court and get the decision. She is taking the piss.

Thanks for the replies, I agree with everything above.
The problem is that, although everything seems completely unfair to me, the solicitors still seem to come down on her side because of our dc. I’m sure the solicitor is going to respond saying I should go with what my ex now wants, to avoid Court, when I want to stick to my guns or wait until he’s 18 to sell the house so I get a fair share - but can I do that if she wants to sell when he is 17?

Find a better solicitor?

Have a chat with a few different solicitors. Many offer a free or low cost initial call.

I was thinking about this again @Lahaina01 I'm re-training as a solicitor at the moment and it occurred to me that your solicitor might recommend you don't fight it out in court because they don't think it is worth the legal risk (i.e. that you pay lots of litigation fees to them, lose and then have to pay her fees too). If they persuaded you to litigate and you lost, then you would probably have reasonable grounds to turnaround to them and accuse them of malpractice because they prioritised fees over good advice.

However! And this is key. I would expect your ex-wife's solicitor to be advising her the same thing! They might write letters to you to shove you around but they probably dread litigation too. Your ex-wife is cohabiting and it makes her case extremely flimsy.

You've been a pushover for years so they're going to keep pushing you. You don't need to go to court but you need to make them think you are prepared to do so. Force her into a position where she feels settling is the safer option.

Good advice, thanks.