Should I make her Famous?

[JustaDad123]

Ex-wife convicted of benefit fraud, she stole £48,000 before we were married. I paid the debt for her so she avoided prison. Only married 6 years when she decides she wants to move on (I had suspicions she was cheating). We agreed on a deed of separation and split our assets, she took all the money and I kept the house and debt, it worked out a 50/50 split and I pay £1000 per month for maintenance. After 2 years of separation I filed for divorce, she was in a relationship with the guy I suspected her of cheating with. Since we separated she has spent all her money on a BMW X4, a Brand new house and mainly clothes for her. Now the money is gone she hires a Solicitor to initiate a financial order from the Court, she wants paying out on my house again, she even got the land registry to put a notice on my house so I can't sell or re-mortgage it.
Ex-wife is also now after my mums house, my mum is 64 and has nothing to her name apart from her home. I was going to buy the house off mum last year, she was unable to release funds from her home so I was going to buy it and let her live there. I got the mortgage in principle but due to other family circumstances mum decided she now wants to sell and move. I didn't take the mortgage, however the house was signed to me to get the mortgage, I have since signed it back to mum for her to sell, but now the Ex-wife wants to take her house. I was trying to help my Mum and now I have made things so much worse for her, she could lose her home now. My Ex-wife is a piece of work, she has changed her name 4 times to hide from her criminal past. When she was prosecuted for Fraud she hid her face from the media, she has changed her middle and last names, she has a new address, I feel I should warn the public about this woman, the only thing that stops me is my children.

A consent order has to be done if you carry on through with the divorce. Me and XDH sorted all our money, the house, cars etc 5 years before we applied for a divorce like yourselves. The judge reads the consent order and decides what is fair and then either approves or doesn't the statements and amounts you have entered into the consent order. Everything you have already sorted will have to go on it so I would doubt that any reasonable judge would look to give her more - especially if she's managed to buy a car and house (assets) from it. It's quite a detailed document so make sure not a penny of what she's had is missed out, including the previous debt you've cleared. Not sure about the tabloids stuff tbh, I think I would be so angry at the sheer greed and wanting of mothers house I'd be inclined to but then if it's going to impact the children probably not. Tough one.

This. I would do it in a heartbeat. How dare she tried to take your mothers house.

I wouldn't, just because of the kids. My STBXH has a conviction, it was in the papers, it's shit. I don't know if they have seen it, they're teens, they haven't mentioned it but they know it was in the papers as I had to warn them. I had to tell their school so they could keep an eye out on my kids, and check for any bullying. Lots of our friends, neighbours, and acquaintances read it. I dread the day that the kids do read it or one of their friends reads it, or it comes up when someone is doing a Google search. She sounds like a piece of work and she probably deserves it but it has wider implications. You could use the threat of telling everyone to negotiate a good settlement with her though! And get a good lawyer.

If she committed benefit fraud because she didn't declare she was living with you and receiving money from you, then you are involved in not legally.

You have had children with her and married her. Your Mum's house shouldn't have anything to do with her claim.

Just get a good lawyer and do everything by the book.

Totally confused. Why did you give that amount of money before you married? Was it child maintenance?

Thanks everyone for all the advice (positive and negative), I will just have to put my big boy pants on and suck it up. The potential harm to my children out ways any gratification I would get from exposing this woman. I just have to hope a Judge sees sense when it comes to Mums house. Hope you all enjoy your Bank Holiday Weekend.

Your children don't have to know it was you... do if she sounds vile

I would personally want to get this person removed from my life as quickly and as quietly as possible. She will get no sympathy from a judge in divorce and most of her claims are frankly silly. Nevertheless, the more you antagonise an habitual liar like her, the more lies she is likely to tell. The last thing you want, for example, is a false allegation of domestic abuse or something. She sounds like just the sort of person to do it.

@JustaDad123 Put your children first not your anger. How will they feel about bit in the future. Knowing you deliberately did it. In all honestly you don't sound like a very nice person yourself 🤷

Actually, more fool you
when you separated YOU knew your ex was , shall we say, a little haphazard with money.
YOU decided that when you separated you’d enter into some dodgy non legal agreement based on her word to not pursue you latter for more .

YOU could have informed yourself more fully of the legal process and followed it and not paid any money ahead of a legal financial agreement sealed by the court

YOU paid her money outside a legal agreement knowing she was a fraud, cheat and liar and are now blaming her, for what? For acting exactly how YOU could have predicted.

sure, go to press. Say goodbye to your kids first , if you have any, maybe not at first, but vengeance is not a pretty look in a parent when metted to the child’s other parent. And then be prepared to look pretty stupid for failing to protect your assets against someone there was a very strong chance was going to do something like this .

personally I think this is made up shite

You make some good points, and I accept i have been haphazard. I'd image there are many men in my position, where they have tried to break up from the mother of their kids only for them to threaten suicide. I have been in a controlling relationship so long even after it ended I didn't go out and socialise as I didn't think I was allowed. I came on this site to get some honest perspective and I appreciate all advice given, I am coming to the conclusion that my Ex isn't a one of a kind.

I guess you could.. but a) it’s an old story and b) it might screw your relationship with your kids.

I would focus on getting a good solicitor and pushing back hard.

Have you got a financial order with a clean break in place ? If you have, she won’t be entitled to anything. If you haven’t, you need to speak to a solicitor.