Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Flip

Original poster

What would I be entitled to if I did leave?

16 replies

Cherry85 · 15/05/2023 09:06

DH and I have been together 6 years, lived together for 4.5(total) and married a year and a half as it was delayed by a year due to covid. We have a 3 Yr old.

Things have really broken down as he has MH issues and refusing to get help.

The house is in his name, was bought before we got married but after DS was born, is mortgage free as we were given money by his parents. It's worth about 450k.

As we have only been married a year and a half would I be entitled to anything?? I think DS and I need out but worried about finances.

OP posts:

ArcticSkewer · 15/05/2023 09:25

Are you based in England? Did you sign any pre-nup? And are you sure the house is in his name, not his parents, as it's unusual to gift a full house when a lot could be lost on divorce. Sometimes it's put into trust, for instance, or kept in parents names.

I'm sure someone who knows more can help, but you will always be entitled to at least child maintenance unless you are doing 50:50.

It sounds very stressful if his mental health is so bad. Are you thinking that you need to leave the house to be safe?

hopeishopeless · 15/05/2023 09:29

@ArcticSkewer The husband's parents didn't give them a house. Either the OP and her husband or just her husband bought it before they got married.

OP, only a solicitor can answer this one accurately, based on a full disclosure of all financial information.

Unfortunately (for you), the reason for separation has no bearing on any financial settlement, so his MH problems won't make any difference to what you might be entitled to.

pecantoucan · 15/05/2023 09:30

I think you'll have to speak to a solicitor- the house thing muddies the waters. Probably not a lot as you haven't had to contribute to the house.

millymollymoomoo · 15/05/2023 10:13

Well, you are married so the house being in his name is not relevant as it’s considered a joint marital asset

however, a short marriage and purchased before marriage muddies things. You have a young child and housing will be a priority you are entitled to a fair share - which may in this case be less than 50%

your needs - to house child - will be balanced against

short marriage
assets owned pre marriage

a solicitor will be able to advise

Ilikepinacoladass · 15/05/2023 13:06

Was the money given by his parents for the house definitely a joint gift to both of you? They may have protected it somehow.

Ilikepinacoladass · 15/05/2023 13:14

I've basically had this situation but the other way around (my house / parents gift etc), ex with MH issues also (although as someone else mentioned this doesn't really have any bearing on the financials), short marriage and small child. He got a lot more than I was expecting- and to be quite honest more than I think he deserved, having not put any money in himself. We settled out of court, he got about 30% of equity, based on his 'housing needs' (even though he has 0 mortgage capacity due to not working, so will not be able to buy, and also lives a very comfortable life at his parents, so the money will more than likely just get frittered away!) Grrr. But if you are going to be the main carer for the child you will hopefully get child maintenance from him, and more than likely enough to house you and your child to a similar standard to what the child is used to.

FloweryName · 15/05/2023 13:18

You will be entitled to a proportion of the house but considering you’ve only been married a year and his side of the family paid for it, it seems a bit shit for you to take it.

Do you work?

pecantoucan · 15/05/2023 14:10

FloweryName · 15/05/2023 13:18

You will be entitled to a proportion of the house but considering you’ve only been married a year and his side of the family paid for it, it seems a bit shit for you to take it.

Do you work?

Yes I agree. You must have saved loads on rent

Original poster

Cherry85 · 15/05/2023 15:04

@FloweryName Lol yep I work, but I have lost all my savings this year as he has burnt through them whilst not working. We have been together nearly 5 years and his dad gave that money for the house to us for his grandson. Before he passed he made very clear to me it was my money just as much as his and that he had to get back to work. If I were going to be a single parent I will probably have to reduce my hours to work around nursery. To be totally clear I'm not that fussed about the money if it was just me - but I have my son to think of too

OP posts:

YaWeeFurryBastard · 15/05/2023 15:27

Seems very greedy and grasping to expect a significant share of a house that was bought in its entirety before you were married especially since your marriage is a very short one. You absolutely should get your savings back though so you can get set up in your new place.

HaggisBurger · 15/05/2023 15:40

The period of prior habitation would be taken into account. But most importantly your housing needs as PP have said.

it’s not greedy or grasping to expect to be adequately housed if there is a child of the marriage. Probably won’t be 50/50 depending on the other assets.

adriftabroad · 15/05/2023 15:46

That is an extremely short marriage.

gogogoji · 15/05/2023 15:58

So your DH parents have money that paid off the house that DH bought

You contributed by having your savings used up due to DH not earning.

I doubt your savings was a drop in the ocean of what your DH and his family have put in.

I think you will get more than is right. Will you have any inheritance from your family? Will your DH benefit? I doubt it. So you will get to ring fence any future inheritance but you want a share of his.

This is so wrong.

Ilikepinacoladass · 15/05/2023 16:16

Cherry85 · 15/05/2023 15:04

How do you work around nursery currently? Would it be any different? Do you think your child's father will go for 50/50 custody, or maybe even more considering he is the one that owns a house? I agree with PP that it seems unfair for you to benefit from your exes inheritance, but if you get any further down the line he won't be entitled to any of yours. I recon you will get a proportion of the money from house probs not 50% but more like 20/30%, but still think it's a bit rubbish to take it.

FloweryName · 15/05/2023 16:59

Your partner will have to provide a home for his son too if you split up. With separated parents, the child needs two homes and you are responsible for providing one of them.

Your lost savings will presumably have provided for you and your son as well as your partner so you can’t blame that entirely on him.

Flowertight · 16/05/2023 17:32

Your marriage is counted from the time you co-habited with no breaks, so in this case it’s a 6 year marriage. This isn’t classed as short. However, he got gifted the house before you married so he might - perhaps rightfully - claim you don’t deserve a 50/50 split. It’s really one for a solicitor as it will be a negotiation with him at the end of the day

Flip