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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Settlement query

8 replies

mia1972 · 09/05/2023 10:57

Hello,
i’m in the middle of a nasty divorce. My ex stopped working and now claiming 65% of assets to get a clean break. He is getting a large sum from his mum to buy me out and says he is not obliged to disclose that in the financial disclosure so that he still gets the higher %. Our mediator seems to no be oblivious and although she initially said he had to disclose it she then seemed to have forgotten… does anyone know what the deal is with this.

OP posts:
Can2022getanyworse · 09/05/2023 11:50

Why did he stop working?

He would be required to work to maximise his income, he can't just expect to quit work to get a better deal.

There are lots more variables here including ages, kids, length of marriage, both your incomes and his before giving up work).

At the financials he would be expected to evidence where he was getting the money to buy you out, money just doesn't materialise from nowhere; if he can be adequately housed using a sum from his parents then he would not need such a big share of the assets. Though this would need some careful investigation and wording by your solicitor.

SquishyGloopyBum · 09/05/2023 11:52

It sounds like this is beyond mediation and needs to go before a judge. Like the PP said, he would be required to work. Also full financial disclosure. Have you got legal representation?

Original poster
mia1972 · 09/05/2023 12:02

He is not working after he had an operation just stopped and is being bankrolled by his mother. He refused to go back but has not been on any benefits / disability. He is just trying to push this deal through. Obv if we go to court he might put the money on his sisters name. I am getting legal advice, but essentially i am being screwed over. Lawyers are so expensive. I would prob earn more than him even if he want as he now has not worked for 5 years (this has been going on forever)

OP posts:
Mari9999 · 09/05/2023 12:08

Many people get loans from various sources to buy a partner out i. n a divorce. That loan could come from a bank, mortgage lender, friend or a parent Does it matter that his lender happens to be his mother? How will that impact this situation?

Original poster
mia1972 · 09/05/2023 12:52

I think that it’s a gift not a loan, and if he has a large gift he should declare it no?

OP posts:
Original poster
mia1972 · 09/05/2023 12:54

Particularly because he wants 65% and will end up with a large mortgage free house and i will end up with a small house and a crippling mortgage

OP posts:
SeasonFinale · 09/05/2023 12:59

Even if it going to be a gift at this stage it is not. This often happens in divorce situations where family make a gift but do so after settlement precisely so the other party doesn't claim a share.

If he has not worked for 5 years and you earn well (are there also children involved?) then a better than 50/50 split in his favour wouldn't be uncommon. Without all details of all assets etc we can't say and you do gave lawyers to guide you as to what is a reasonable settlement especially as they will know all the assets etc.

Original poster
mia1972 · 09/05/2023 13:05

I don’t want to claim a share, I just want a fairer % in the settlement because he doesn’t have the need that he is claiming to have. But obv the law is against me on this one. He doesn’t work because he received a huge inheritance that he entirely spent on himself whilst I was killing myself trying to keep everyone afloat on the basis that he would go back to work. It’s a very complex situation. Kids stay with both parents on a 50/50 split, I moved out cos he was controlling and verbally abusive.

OP posts:
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