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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Make it make sense

10 replies

Sallyxox · 08/05/2023 07:56

So me and ex hub spilt 5 weeks ago,
another women has come out the wood works.

why do they deny it? I feel like moving forward if he was honest we could be more civil but the denying of it is really insulting …..
so Iv told him I wanted limited contact and purely around little one. Then he gets angry!?

anyone been in a similar situation?

OP posts:
Morewineplease10 · 08/05/2023 08:12

Yep, but mine denied it for 10 months! Then admitted it for two, back to denying it again.
Horrible, insulting, humiliating, I could go on!

He's angry with you?!

Do you have real life support? Minimise contact with him as much as you can. His anger isn't your problem.

See a solicitor while he's guilty - if indeed he is.

I'm sorry op. It's awful I know. Lean on people, let trusted friends help.

Original poster
Sallyxox · 08/05/2023 08:31

Morewineplease10 · 08/05/2023 08:12

Yep, but mine denied it for 10 months! Then admitted it for two, back to denying it again.
Horrible, insulting, humiliating, I could go on!

He's angry with you?!

Do you have real life support? Minimise contact with him as much as you can. His anger isn't your problem.

See a solicitor while he's guilty - if indeed he is.

I'm sorry op. It's awful I know. Lean on people, let trusted friends help.

Yeah he’s angry cos he wanted to be mates and I have it completely wrong apparently. Which I don’t. Just don’t see the point in denying it makes u look stupid spesh when he’s been inviting me to family gatherings. They also don’t know about other women until now cos Iv told them!

yeah good support network actually feel better for cutting contact and this made me realise there’s no hope for us

OP posts:
WTF202333 · 08/05/2023 10:32

He wants the best of both worlds, a bit of fun and his adoring wife/family and the security that brings - just in case the grass isn’t that much greener after all.
File for divorce and stand firm with him.

Original poster
Sallyxox · 08/05/2023 10:58

WTF202333 · 08/05/2023 10:32

He wants the best of both worlds, a bit of fun and his adoring wife/family and the security that brings - just in case the grass isn’t that much greener after all.
File for divorce and stand firm with him.

Yeah divorce will be filed for soon as Iv saved the money up. It’s just hard having little one cos ideally I’d like to never see him again.

OP posts:
Purplecatshopaholic · 08/05/2023 11:26

I think they want their cake and eat it! My ex ‘wanted to remain friends’, which meant he wanted a safety net if he and his side piece fell out. I said err, no, divorced his cheating arse and haven’t spoken to him since. We didn’t have kids though so a clean break was possible. You have my sympathies op.

Original poster
Sallyxox · 08/05/2023 11:50

Purplecatshopaholic · 08/05/2023 11:26

I think they want their cake and eat it! My ex ‘wanted to remain friends’, which meant he wanted a safety net if he and his side piece fell out. I said err, no, divorced his cheating arse and haven’t spoken to him since. We didn’t have kids though so a clean break was possible. You have my sympathies op.

Yeah the anger when I remove myself from his life is laughable. He absolutely thought we could be mates and we could until he showed me he had zero respect for me.

OP posts:
WheelsUp · 08/05/2023 11:54

My ex suddenly thought that I was an idiot and he was a fucking genius when we split too. He hated the idea of looking like the bad guy even though things were so obvious that our 11 year old Knew.

Iona345 · 08/05/2023 12:06

It's so insulting isn't it. Mine denied it for TWO YEARS despite even having to declare going on holiday with the suspected OW as the hefty transaction was raised in the divorce. She was a family friend too so the pieced added up very quickly despite exh going blue in the face denying it. Day after divorce was settled he produced his new home address with said OW like it was all some kind of coincidence.

OP it is enraging right now, but honestly, and I didn't believe it either...indifference does eventually come. It really does. He's showing you who he is - yuck.

Original poster
Sallyxox · 08/05/2023 12:22

Yeah I would have dealt with my hurt and moved forward the way we were if he didn’t have such dis respect for me. But know I just think I have enough mates I don’t need him as one. He’s my daughters dad and she’s the only reason the smallest of contact is still having to happen. Happier days will come for me, I know I gave him my all and put up with a lot of shit and had his back. Well these issues are no longer mine and in some way he’s done the best thing he could of ever done for me.

OP posts:
doozledog · 08/05/2023 12:32

My husband denied it for 5 months, all while living with her and when presented with evidence he still denighed it, other woman to this day is still denying it to her exh 1yr down the line and is sharing a house with my husband, mental cases both of them. When shes confrunted he's just " a friend visiting " honest to god, the dark place they have both taken me too was scary but then i realised they are getting a huge kick of of it.

Re the anger part, he wanted his cake and eat it. mine did exactly the same. As soon as i stopped giving a shit he HATED it. We dont speak or even communicate about our child now, and if we have to he very quickly starts playing games. I am convinced he hates me because he blames me for finding out and for where he is in life now.

All i can say is, buckle up! And in 12 month from now you will be so glad hes no longer in your life!

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