Do you feel sad when your kids are away?

[AllOrNothingSituation]

Yesterday was the first time ever that my ex has ever taken our 4 kids out together on his own and my youngest is 6! (usually he will only see them at my house) Its also the first time ive been without my oldest for a year as shes home educated so has been with me every second of the day so no break whilst she's been at school. This is what it should have always been like but he has never wanted to take them, it was the first saturday i had not had my kids in 6 years. And i have to say i loved it and did not miss them one bit. Shame he was not taking them overnight. I got to have a bath in peace, I got to clean without kids messing it all back up, no fighting, no arguing. Am I mean for loving it? I see so many posts from people saying they hate when their kids go , cry their eyes out being away from them can't stand it, spend the whole time in bed crying etc and here was me loving it. Anyone else love the time to themselves? It went so fast! Is it weird I didn't feel sad?

Early days for me as the first time he's ever taken them 🤣 but I didn't feel sad at all maybe I'm odd

I guess the first few times it's sheer relief and a massive novelty! Might get a bit harder after a while. But yeh like I say I'm always glad of the break personally. But do have times when feel a bit down, probs more to do with loneliness and not having the distraction there than missing the child though.

First Christmas I cried loads on the age leading up and Christmas Eve as they were with him. But normal 5 nights away, nah! They are are 10 and 13 though, less cute 😂

Yeah I get that mine are older kids as well so I just wouldn't feel sad if they weren't here may feel very different if it was babies or toddlers!

If you think you’d enjoy Xmas day without your kids then crack on. But don’t judge those that it had an emotional impact on. Your posts seem extremely judgemental and don’t help anyone. Sneering

I found it hard at the beginning, way back when when they were little. And the first Christmas/Mother's Day morning/birthdays that didn't fall on my day felt sad.
But in fairness exh and i have always made sure the other parent sees them for a portion of all special occasions anyway so even that was bearable.

Now they are are teenagers I don't miss them that much at all tbh when they aren't here. They are in touch via watts app a lot anyway. DH and I get every other weekend to ourselves and we love it! We go out, we have fun, we go away for the weekend, we laze about, we see friends, lovely! Then the opposing weekends we have all our kids here together and we'll love that too-busy, loud, messy and chaotic.

In the weeks it's more of a mix so we end up with one night out of the fortnight with no kids here.

I think it will make it easier for me when my DD's leave home proper. There will be less empty nest syndrome for me than some of my friends as I'm fairly used to it by now.

You seem to be the only one that has taken it this way so perhaps I’ve hit a nerve but absolutely nowhere in my op did I mention Xmas or 50/50 that’s completely understandable but yes I would like to share those days with my ex! But that’s because I don’t view the children as just mine. I would happily alternate Xmas if ex wanted to as that’s the fairest thing and I also think it’s good for kids to spend Xmas with the other parent and get the opportunity to have different traditions, I can understand being upset at Xmas as it’s that time of year but just a normal weekend? Nope and that’s what I’m referring to not 50/50 not Mother’s Day Xmas etc I didn’t mention anything about special occasions in my thread. you said no one misses their kids for a couple of hours but I proved that wasn’t the case and I see post after post saying the same thing and wondered if I was cold not to feel the same way and to not feel “devastated” I see people saying they can’t bare to be away from their kids as they are nothing without them and I just find that a bit sad, kids will grow up and move out they won’t stay tiny forever.

I do miss them if they are away for a few days or when my ex took my older 2 on holiday. It’s easier when they are older as they can phone/FaceTime/text and you can communicate with them if need be. But I’m not crying in my bed or wallowing. They are happy and safe with their dad.

Sometimes we go for dinner together or I will pop in if I’m passing - he came and took them for a sweetie last night which they loved. But the house can be quiet if they aren’t here but it’s not about me and I can fill the time no problem. Christmas last year I had them Christmas morning and they went to dads for lunch/evening.

@Flowertight what in earth are you taking about? I don’t miss my kids in general but it was hard at Xmas. But that’s how it is.

I haven't read the thread but in answer to the question, yes, I feel bereft when they're gone. First few times I had suicidal thoughts. I'm better able to cope with it now but still hate it.

No not really. I'd give my own life to save them but it doesn't mean I'm unhappy away from them for awhile.

I'm exactly the same!