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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Is this fair?

6 replies

BunnyLily · 30/04/2023 19:21

I’ve separated from husband of 10yrs. We have a house together - we are co-habiting at the moment as neither of us can afford to move out. Or I can’t afford to move out. Plus I don’t really want to or take on the house as I’m skint without paying all the bills. We have 2 children- I’ve always paid for all the food for all of us, clothes, shoes, outings, holidays, uniform any trips school related, clubs ect. He has paid for all the bills and mortgage, my car which is £200 a month and the odd days out. Anyway - he has always given me £100 a month but this has now stopped now we are separated. I’ve always done the washing and majority of cleaning, cooking, childcare. I work 2 part time jobs, he works full time and earns a good wage. I get UC and child benefit. Does this seem an equal split? We have no shared assets at the moment apart from the house which will obviously be split once we separate. I just feel he should be contributing more..

OP posts:
Doggymummar · 30/04/2023 19:25

Total it all and pay proportional to what you earn. 60\40 70\30 erc

rainraingoawaay · 30/04/2023 19:26

He's paying for the mortgage / bills / your car at the moment? And all that's stopped is the extra £100pm he used to give you?

Do your bills (food / DC things) equal what he pays for his bills (mortgage / bills / cars) in proportion to earnings? It's hard without knowing if your wage + UC etc is similar to his wage, and what percentages of each you're spending on bills.

Perhaps the family labour could be split more equally?

RandomMess · 30/04/2023 19:29

Are you living separate lives and hence able to claim UC? I would expect him to be paying 50/50 for the kids things tbh.

ArcticSkewer · 30/04/2023 19:38

Now you are separated you need a different system for finances and household tasks.

You can't claim to be separated but still be doing his cooking and shopping for him.

Equally he needs to do his 50% of house and childcare stuff.

Impossible to say from finances - what do you each pay? Better to start both paying towards everything.

Beetlewings · 02/05/2023 12:27

That sounds remarkably like my current situation. Are you able to claim UC even though you're living in the same house? I did not know this!
Anyway, ex pays more than that for upkeep of his kids but everything else is separate. He gets paid well, and pays mortgage and bills, as the house is in his name.
He doesn't have car/phone costs as that's paid for by work but I do, I also pay for all kids outgoings and their phone contracts plus all my outgoings on 2 part time jobs.

I do not do ANY of his housework, he likes to live like a pig and this is the main reason I'll be moving out asap

RandomMess · 02/05/2023 12:52

So long as you Live entirely separately no shared shopping or cooking, laundry etc yes you can claim UC

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