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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

Future bonuses

24 replies

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:06

DH and myself having many issues and divorce possibly on the cards, we will be having counselling. I am a SAHM, married for 15 years, no job for years due to child health issues and being a carer for one. DH is a very high earner and will soon be getting a huge, life changing bonus from work, but don't know exactly when.
I also need to see a solicitor as I am in such a precarious financial position. Does anyone have any experience of how future bonuses are taken into account? We wouldn't be divorced by then, just separated, but I understand that any income after separation is not considered?

OP posts:

pfftt · 28/04/2023 12:20

I'm not sure but I suspect as this upcoming bonus is based on performance over the period you were together, you would have claim.

Chowtime · 28/04/2023 12:23

I would just hang on till he gets the bonus to be honest. It would be a shame to lose out on a half of a life-changing bonus - in fact it would be madness to even risk it.

May the judge will let you claim it after you've split - or maybe he won't. Depends what mood he's in on the day. No, I wouldn't risk it for a life changing amount of money.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:27

Thanks, I don't want to come across as being too mercenary or entitled to it, but I just want it to be fair. He's fairly generous with money, but you don't know what'll happen once a solicitor tells him what to do!

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 28/04/2023 12:30

What are your own plans to work ?

mintbiscuit · 28/04/2023 12:32

Likely this bonus would be factored into a clean break when you have the financial settlement if you go this clean break route. Even if you are separated.

if you end up with a spousal support arrangement (which does still exist in some rulings today) then future bonuses would be included in that calculation.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:33

I've been looking for a part time job but no luck so far, and it needs to fit in with DC health appts and DH long working hours. It's just me, no family help, and DH doesn't help out either

OP posts:

mintbiscuit · 28/04/2023 12:33

Oh and a judge will take into account you should be making an attempt to increase your own earnings

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:36

@mintbiscuit I would like the clean break route, I don't want to rely on him forever, done enough of that. Any job I get will barely make a dent compared to what he earns, but I am trying. The DC are my priority at the moment

OP posts:

MissLucyLiu · 28/04/2023 12:46

I think it's wiser to wait. But depends on the bonus structure this could be paid in instalments in years. There's this concept called deferred. I.e. a lot of firms they say they give you 1mio pound bonus but this is deferred over 3 years time to stop people quitting immediately for example. Are you willing to stick it until that long until he gets that?

Also a lot of companies gives bonuses in cash + equity in a step function as well. It can get quite complicated.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:50

It is quite complicated- it could be given over 3 years. I need a good solicitor who knows about these things. And he has the potential to even more in future via bonuses and equity so I need to ensure I don't get shafted now.

OP posts:

millymollymoomoo · 28/04/2023 13:06

What does he earn op and what sort of bonus are you talking about in terms of net payment value?

regarding dc are they likely to need care into adult life, will they ever be able to live independently?

do you understand the marital assets ( house equity, pensions etc) which are available to split ?

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 13:13

I do all household finances so I know all the figures. DC will be fine, won't need any care, which is why I can get a job soon and get a clean break. I have a disability though, which makes it harder to do many jobs. Bonus amount will depend on company value and profit at the time, but at least £1m net

OP posts:

MrLbz · 28/04/2023 13:20

I think this is going to be very complicated. Via normal "high street" solicitors and form-e submission i don't think this future bonus could be taken into account.

I think you need a solicitor experienced in high net worth divorces.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 13:22

You think I should go straight for a high net worth solicitor, or seek advice from a normal one first? Not sure where I'd find the former, must be a few in London but don't want to pay a fortune on initial advice

OP posts:

mintbiscuit · 28/04/2023 14:10

You need a good family lawyer with exp in this. You’ve now mentioned a disability which should be taken into account for your future earning potential. A clean break may not necessarily be the best option, although spousal support will only be based on his income (salary and bonus) which doesn’t last for ever either.

Please also don’t forget about pension sharing. Often women ‘overlook’ this in favour of family home. You need to think about your future years and pension provision as I’m assuming he has been using his pension for tax relief as high earner. women can be massively screwed on this, the stats speak for themselves.

millymollymoomoo · 28/04/2023 14:20

Have you actually spoken to him
is he aware you are thinking separation and divorce?

do you have a view of your ‘asks’ on a settlement and what you think is fair

going straight to a high net worth divorce lawyer is quite antagonistic and is likely to inflame things considerably - which could then result in extremely expensive divorce costing 10s or hundreds thousands

just because it’s potentially high value doesnt mean you can’t actually discuss and try to reach agreement between you in the first Instance

perhaps see a solicitor first fir advice then actually try speaking with him

Morewineplease10 · 28/04/2023 14:22

You absolutely need a solicitor who specialises in this.
Don't rely on a randomly selected one to know what's what.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 14:26

We have discussed our marriage and both know it's in a bad way, hence the counselling, I think we still have some hope we can work it out. I think we are both in the same mindset. Nothing has been discussed about breaking up, I just don't want to be blindsided if he has enough, as I am in the weaker position

OP posts:

KnickerlessParsons · 28/04/2023 14:27

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 12:33

I've been looking for a part time job but no luck so far, and it needs to fit in with DC health appts and DH long working hours. It's just me, no family help, and DH doesn't help out either

I would say that you have been enabling DH to work to the standard where he has become eligible for a huge bonus. Would he have been in line for the same bonus if he did 50% of the health appts, and general helping out? Possibly/probably not. In my mind (not that I'm a judge or anything :) ), that should qualify you to receive half of this and any future bonuses that were earned while you were together.

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 28/04/2023 14:33

You might not need a big shot HNW lawyer. Take a look at the websites for your local large law firms and check out the bio of the lead or partner in the family department.

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 14:34

@KnickerlessParsons he only was able to take this job as I said I would manage and do absolutely everything for the DC. I had to rely on friends occasionally to take other DC to school so I could take DC to appointments. That way, he didn't have any distractions and didn't have to take time off in a new job. So I would hope there would be some fairness involved somewhere for being fairly unemployable and with no pension! My own fault though, as I wasn't forced into it, and we have benefited financially

OP posts:

Original poster

starlilly88 · 28/04/2023 14:35

@MooseBeTimeForSnow thanks, I will have a look. Torn between getting advice so I know roughly where I am, and trying to ignore it all and hope for the best

OP posts:

MooseBeTimeForSnow · 28/04/2023 14:38

Get the advice. Better to have the knowledge and be prepared. Be proactive rather than reactive.

It’s up to you then whether you do anything but at least you’ll have a better idea of where you stand.

PizzaPastaWine · 28/04/2023 14:47

I have no advice regarding the divorce but moving forward you need to change your mindset about employment/care for the DC. Despite your DH being the higher earner you should not have to make allowances for your DC solely yourself - he will have to step up and that will mean assisting you in your career despite the higher amount he earns. That is completely irrelevant because once your DC are 18 you're solely responsible for yourself.

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