Won't go to Dads

[dimpleknee]

DS11 is refusing to stay at his Dads. He's always been a homebody, but having been spilt from ex for nearly 2 years, his Dad still hasn't sorted him out with a bedroom at his place (3 bed house). DD14 has never stayed- she's ASC and has never trusted her Dad as he hasn't historically made any allowances for her condition. It doesn't help that she has always refused so he thinks it's ok to as well. My ex is really upset. We're pretty amicable and I don't know what I can do to support their relationship. Has anyone got any advice?

How far away do you live from their dad?

20 mins- about 13 miles

Surely he doesn't gave to stay over then? He could just do day visits.

He can be a better father, you can't make him that, it has to be from himself, he sounds shit, still hasn't made a space for his own son and refuses to accommodate his daughters diagnosis leading to alienation.

He is reaping what he has sewn.

He's very upset his kids don't want to visit, but hasn't bothered to sort his son's room or adapt to his daughter's condition?

Answer is in his hands not yours.

This is what I feel, but the man is still genuinely upset that they won't go- it's so bizarrre.

Have you actually spelled it out to him
ie if you want son to visit you must sort his room out…. What is his response to that ?

Does he live with somebody else? If it's a three bed house surely there's a room available if not?

Why does he have to stay, can’t he just take them out for the day?
I never wanted to stay at dad’s when I was a kid, I wanted to go home to mum.