Advice?

[Newgirlontheblock1]

Hi, needing some advice really.
my partner and I have been together for 4 years. We are not married however was planning for it in a couple of years time.
we have a 2 year old together and we both own our home. I work part time while he works full time and we just put all the money earned in a pot to contribute to bills etc. we are based in the UK.

i have recently discovered to my horror he has been meeting men behind my back.
I guess what I’m trying to get at is what is my rights to staying in the home if I was to lock him out and put a bag of clothes on the step sort of thing until we can sell or work something out in terms of the mortgage. I am worried he will break in with it being his home but I am just trying to protect me and keep a roof over my boys head. If he gets in I fear I will be the one being thrown out for trying to lock him out.
if he rings the police will they arrest me for locking him out or will they be on my side?
how will I get money if he decides to cut me off his wages so I can sustain our bills in the meantime?
As you can imagine I am very stuck on the Matter, vulnerable and wondering if it’s worth causing my little boy all this trauma or wether I should just move us into my mothers cramped house and both of us sleep on the sofa and start fresh?
I don’t see why I should move out when I have not done anything wrong.
Please only positive advice or any knowledge of who to go to would be appreciated

I don't think you can lock him out of the home he part owns. He hasn't assaulted you and you're not in danger, so I don't know what the police would do.

Sorry to hear this 💐

Don’t lock him out, as you say it’s his house too so it could get ugly and you’re not in the wrong so don’t put yourself in the wrong.

Can you just talk to him about the situation and see whether you can both come to an agreement about living arrangements, financials and co-parenting?

who owns the house ?
if it’s jointly owned you cannot throw him out/ lock him out.

as to going forward, you have no right to stay in the home unless you buy him out, can take on the mortgage unless you make a successful sch 1 claim ( these are last resort) and you only have recourse to child maintenance

you need to sit down with him and talk about finances, the house and co parenting

If he was to ring the police they would listen to both sides and decide on a suitable course of action for the night to minimise any further incidents (I would imagine ensure one person leaves and stays elsewhere). Unfortunately with it being his house he is entitled if he wishes to cause damage to get in, however he needs to be reasonable and minimise things for your child. Have you confronted him yet?

Legally he has as much right to be in the house as you do. If you want to separate you will need to get his agreement to move out or a court order that allows you to occupy the house. A court court would need very good reason for approving an occupation order, usually this is a matter of safety. A lawyer will advise you whether there is a chance.

One of the reasons why you need good cause is that if he moves out he needs to find somewhere to live. For most people funding two homes is unaffordable. He wouldn’t be expected to pay for a home if you could afford the mortgage and household expenses.

Financially you should work out possible CMS and UC if you are single. Remember if you co parent 50:50 there is usually no CMS.

Long term, you would have to apply to the courts for a right to stay in the home. This would only be allowed if there was no other affordable housing option to meet your child’s needs. This is an application under the children’s act. It gives you no greater share of the property which will be sold at some point. He will still own 50% even if you pay the mortgage, and you most likely will be required to pay the mortgage.

Unfortunately if you have enough income and equity share to rent that will be good reason for him to oppose your request in court. A large equity share would impact on UC entitlement until it is spent. Although you have 6 months grace to use it to buy.

Your best approach is to work together to agree a way forward avoiding courts. He is more likely to agree to you staying in the home if he doesn’t have to fund your housing costs and his on top of CMS. Plus you agree a sale in the near future why you can work FT and be independent.

Rightly or not, the courts won’t consider his infidelity in any decision over access or housing. Basically

• not being married means you are not entitled to anything you don’t own. You won’t get a bigger share of joint assets other than what you own.
• You can use the children’s act to secure housing needs. But this won’t change the equity share in the house if you are allowed to stay.
• Apart from CMS you won’t get your housing costs support if you are allowed stay on. Unless he is very very rich. Expect to have to pay his share of the mortgage and take it over. He will still own 50% if you do this.
• Expect to co parent and that he is entitled to ask and get a 50:50 shared arrangement.