Questions for initial meeting with divorce lawyer

[Whattodo46]

I am planning on having an initial meeting with a family lawyer to discuss proceeding with divorce. What questions should I be asking at the initial meeting that I may not have considered? Anything that you have found useful?

When I did mine they wanted a rough view

length of marriage / plus any prior cohabitation
minor children number and ages
an idea of likely residency and arrangements
estimates of assets
estimates of earnings

based in this they will give you an assessment /guide of what could be a likely outcome ( not what it will be but an idea and things for negotiation)

they gave me a view of the process
and costs

and left me to go away, divest, and get back to them if I wanted to proceed

not much more can be done in an hour

Their hourly rate, of course.

Ideally don't bring your emotions to the meeting, lawyers are the most expensive emotional counsellors you could imagine.

Is there any possibility of doing any steps without lawyer, OP, like if you both agreed you could file for a no-fault divorce yourself.

If it's not amicable split then what mediators do they recommend. Still cheaper than talking to each other thru lawyers.

My advice would be to read the online guide at the top of this board. And also other official online guidance. Then think about what concerns you. After that do some basis financial calculations of your own.

• what is you post separation income and what can it be.
• are you entitled to benefits - an online calculator will give you a rough estimate
• what is your mortgage borrowing potential, based on estimated income. Get a min and max
• What level of child support could you get.

the solicitor will help you resolve two things, money and co parenting. Think of your life in stages

1. how you will live immediately post separation before assets are divided
2. how you will live after divorce when assets are divided
3. how you will live in retirement.

The best divorces are ones that don’t require a lot of legal input. Most people don’t need it because our lives are not financially complex.

one thing I do know that is one or other of does something high handed the other is very likely to retaliate. This will start a pattern that leads to acrimony.

Social media is full of people giving hot headed advice. But they are giving to both sides.

Thank you. I appreciate these responses. Yes, we are amicable and hope to agree on as much as we can without lawyers input. That’s an interesting way to look at things with your life in stages, I had never considered it like that before.

What is your priority?
Child arrangements or finances?

You will need the right solicitor for either,or both.
You need the right one for your needs.

Have all your numbers together. Try very hard not to be emotional.
Time in tears is money.

It's very hard.
Remember your solicitor,while on your side,is not a therapist.

Knowing what you want is good. And the right solicitor will tell you if you are being realistic.
Don't get dragged into sending letters to each other about small things. It costs.

I hope it goes well.

I'd ask what the most they think you could get is. And then ask what the most they think your ex could get if he were their client. I found it really useful to see the two end posts.
Put all your finance info on paper.
Do not stray into any chat about the emotions - book a counsellor for that.

My ex and I went to counselling to work out what our new coparenting relationship was going to look like. Sounds wanky but it saved us a fortune in solicitor fees. We did argue in those sessions but we had someone making sure we listened to each other. It made us appreciate what the other had put into the marriage. It meant time with mediators and solicitor was short.

Yea go in with everything relevant you can think of written down. All assets, income of each party and plans for children are the big ones.

When you're meeting a divorce lawyer for the first time, it's totally normal to have a bunch of questions swirling around. One biggie is asking them about their experience with property division attorney. You wanna make sure they've got a good handle on splitting things up fairly.

Another key thing is fees. Don't be shy about asking how they charge and what the estimated costs might be. It's smart to get that sorted upfront so there are no surprises down the road.

You'll probably also want to chat about how they communicate. Like, are they cool with emails or calls? It's all about finding someone who matches your style, so don't hold back on asking.

And remember, this first meeting is like a test run to see if they're the right fit for you. So go with your gut and make sure you feel comfortable opening up to them.