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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

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Original poster

D81 form after divorce

15 replies

justwingingit7 · 12/04/2023 14:56

Hi, I split with my ex husband over two years ago, not a amicable split, our divorce finalised October of last year. He has a very good career - that comes with an excellent pension..when I left him, I told him I wanted none of his pension and he could rest assured I'd never come for it. I wanted a clean break, we had no house or savings to split so I just wanted to walk away and start a fresh. He then came to me last year asking if I would be happy to sign away my right to his pension - I obviously agreed thinking it would be a solicitor writing an agreement and me signing it. Now I've received a d81 form requiring me to put all of my (current) earnings, benefits, savings, debts. Basically I have to completely bare my financial situation to my ex husband who gets a copy of it. I don't want that?! He has no right to see what's in my bank, savings, debts! He was controlling when we were together and I left to go into a refuge so it fills me with dread that he gets such a personal insight into my finances. I don't know if I'm just being dramatic? I don't understand though why they need my current finances for me to sign away his pension? I get nothing out of this, it's me doing it as a favour to him because he obviously doesn't believe I won't go after it in 30 years time. Which I was more than happy to do, until I realised how invasive the process would be. I haven't sought legal help as he told me last year that he had a solicitor and it was straight forward and I'd just basically need to sign something. This isn't what I'd expected. Anyone know much about them? Filled one out before? It says at the bottom that the form is being signed so that assets are divided equally - am I going to end up giving him money or something if his finances are worse than mine? I've worked my arse off the last two years to become debt free and have some savings.

OP posts:

Fourmagpies · 12/04/2023 15:18

If he has a decent pension, you're not likely to be in a position where you have to give him money. His pension will be included in his assets. To achieve a clean break financially so that neither of you can make a claim against the others future income/assets, you need a consent order and this is what the D81 form is for. Unfortunately yes, you do need to give the information as a judge needs to decide if what you've agreed is fair. You might find legal advice beneficial.

IsItUs · 12/04/2023 15:22

You also must sign the D81 to say you've seen what he's written to do no one should sign that part until you've both completely filled it in.
D81 must accompany proposed order to court, so a judge can decide whether to approve or not.
There can be reasons to depart from 50/50 so don't assume that's always the outcome.
I'd suggest you at least chat to a solicitor.

Timeforachange2023 · 12/04/2023 15:24

Form D81 will be accompanying a financial consent order. Have you not seen that yet? You both have to sign that too.

If you want a clean break financially then unfortunately this is the process that needs to be followed (without going to court). The same process applies to couples who are splitting assets and those that have decided not to split any, for various reasons, like you have.

You are not divorced from one another financially in law until a financial consent order is approved.

It’s worth bearing in mind that it gives you protection in the future too. It works both ways if there is a clean break clause. All of your claims against him are dismissed and vice versa.

All form D81 does is provide context to the judge being asked to make the order. I wouldn’t worry about it. It’s standard procedure.

Original poster

justwingingit7 · 13/04/2023 15:19

Going to seek legal advice to help with the forms anyway as I had no idea all this was happening. He presented it to me as "would you mind signing something that waves your rights to my pension" I of course said yes but didn't realise it was so in depth etc. Can I not send my d81 to the solicitor/ court without him seeing a copy?

OP posts:

IsItUs · 13/04/2023 15:30

No you can't send it without him seeing it.
You'll see there's a part near end of form to sign to say you've seen each others' forms. It's mandatory.

IsItUs · 13/04/2023 15:31

When you send it to his solicitor they'll send it to him. Do not sign to say you've seen his details until you have - just put in figures until then.

lljkk · 13/04/2023 16:37

Are you afraid he'll try to claim some of your savings, OP?

I'm afraid this is the final divorce step for you, and it does mean having to share some information.

mulletdecoco · 13/04/2023 18:30

From what I understand OP you do not have to send any proof in with the D81 as it should be clean break and neither of you are going after each others pension or assets. If it was me I wouldn't declare anything that you feel may be compromising. Though basic salary would be OK as I assume he knows that. This is what I'd do if worried but won't suit everyone and isn't ethical. I assume no kids involved and you just want to finish this as easily as possible?

Timeforachange2023 · 13/04/2023 18:58

If you don’t share any financial information at all, how can either of you enter into an agreement about finances?

As you are both signing something which has lasting financial implications and will achieve a clean break, you each have the “right” to some degree of understanding of each of your respective financial positions.

If you’re concerned he might try and seek some of the assets you have built up since separation and divorce, it would be almost impossible for him to do that. They have been accrued since. Obviously you wouldn’t agree, he would have to make an application to court. He wouldn’t get very far. You would then ask for his pension to go into the mix.

It sounds like he’s not presented it to you very well by asking you to sign away your “rights” to his pension. He will also be signing away his “rights” to any of your assets too, remember.

Some legal advice for you will sort everything out and shouldn’t be too expensive if his brief has already drafted the order.

Timeforachange2023 · 13/04/2023 19:00

Trying to hide assets and not listing them on the D81 isn’t to be advised either………

Nothing you put on the form can be compromising.

Original poster

justwingingit7 · 13/04/2023 19:44

Just to be clear, it's not that I want to hide assets from him..I barely have savings etc...it's more that we were in a controlling relationship and I ended up in a refuge with our kids when I left...he tries all the time to pay less child maintenance than he should and since we split has made various comments about my finances and how I afford things etc...so I just don't want him having any insight as to what my incomings and outgoings are. I know that he isn't in a great financial position after seeing his 'liabilities' and I think when he sees mine, it will enrage him. He will hate that I left and have managed to actually keep myself afloat. I just hate the thought that he will see what I earn, what benefits I get, what debt I have, what savings I have. I thought I'd managed to get away from him knowing personal stuff! I'm probably being stupid.

OP posts:

lljkk · 13/04/2023 20:35

Friend got round what she thought would be horrible comments from her stbX by ccing lawyers on each & every communication.

Greensleevevssnotnose · 13/04/2023 20:40

When I got divorced all the finances were sorted out before the decree absolute I don't like the idea of them coming after you know, doesn't feel right to me.

Timeforachange2023 · 13/04/2023 21:47

justwingingit7 · 13/04/2023 19:44

You’re definitely not being silly at all.

You have been through a traumatic experience and have come out the other side. You want to avoid anymore heartache and you’re rightly being cautious.

Let him act and think how he wants.

Perhaps see this as what it is. The very final hurdle which will end the majority of contact with him.

You will gain a lot of closure by doing this.

Good luck! Everything will be fine! 😊

HangerLaneGyratorySystem · 15/04/2023 01:18

It seems that abusers can continue to use the courts to abuse their partners - OP how about get some advice from Rights of Women, they might come at it from a different angle:

www.rightsofwomen.org.uk

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