Dividing Assets

[itsjustmoi]

Husband and I are divorcing after 10 years.
5 kids in total, he has 3 then 2 together.

I've left him, fed up of his moods, laziness and just general inability to be a grown up.

We have a fair amount of equity in the house and in my mind we'll pay off a joint loan, the credit card then split what's left 50/50.

He's suddenly realised that he may not be able to buy suitable housing alone. I can, my kids are both boys 2&4 so a 2 bed house will do for now. I can also use some money to change my car as it's starting to have issues and save a little rainy day fund just incase.

He has 2 adult children who live with him; plus one who visits and then our 2 who will visit. He will ideally need a 4 bed but he can't afford one.

He thinks the money should be split in a way that allows us both to buy suitable housing. But that means him taking almost 3/4 of the equity leaving me with just enough to buy a house but no security in the event things crop up.

I'm so done with this man child and just think that's not my problem anymore. Maybe he should have thought about his future alone when he refused to do his fair share and be a decent husband.

Should I stand my ground or negotiate?

Stand your ground in determining your housing needs

any adult children won’t be taken into consideration when determining housing needs ( however one may morally feel about that )

however, it’s not an automatic given that it’s 50:50 and either one if you could get more or less than that based on many factors which we are not privy to

His adult children can get jobs and be added to his mortgage if they need a bigger house. Or they can move out.

Either way, it's his problem, not yours.

Who has the shared children more as that could be a factor in the split of assets. I settled at 60/40 but could have gone for more as I have our children 85% of the time.
His adult children are old enough to fend for themselves so are irrelevant. His housing need in theory should be the same as yours.

I will have the kids majority of the time.

He will collect from school/childcare on a Friday and keep until Saturday lunch time one weekend and Sunday evening the other. He won't see them during the week due to his work hours. He will have the kids for the 5 school inset days I have to work if they're off too. I work term time only so will have all the holidays off with them. He won't help with any sick days, didnt when we were together so definitely won't when we aren't. He also won't help with any of our eldest multiple appointments due to his medical needs or SEN.

50/50

Wow, I'd be pushing for more in that case. Definetely wouldnt settle at 50:50 as you are shouldering the majority of the care and responsibility. I wouldnt settle for anything less than 60:40 but would actually be looking more at 70:30 tbh. Why should he get to walk away with half of everything but not take half the responsibilty for his children?