Separated after being cheated on again advise about the benefits I get

[Fi2023]

I have just taken the decision to separate with my partner of 20 years turns out he has been having a secret online relationship with 5 other woman he says it's just flirting nothing else but I took him back last year when he cheated on me again online for the sake of our 3 kids he won't tell these ladies about me so he obviously wants more of them and I have had enough of his behaviour he does not help me with the 3 children 2 with additional needs won't do anything he thinks I am in the wrong and he's done nothing wrong his excuse everyman does it nope not everyman does it my question is we claim old style esa and tax credits I am planning on moving as even tho we are in a council house he says he's not moving so Tuesday I am putting an application in for me and the 3 kids but the esa and tax credit it's all in my name i am in the support group due to certain medical conditions but he's only down as partner can I take him of my claim or do I have to stop the claim and and put another claim I am totally new at all this and right now my head is mush from finding out about all his carry on I don't even know what to do next I am just sick of being treated like this and lied to I am sorry for going on just needed to vent and ask advise about benefits to make sure my 3 kids are all right

Whose name is on your council tenancy?

I think if you weren't claiming tax credit ( so if it was just you and no kids) you would be able to carry on with your ESA claim but as your joint tax credits claim will be ending then you will now need to make a new claim for Universal credit and your ESA would become part of this . Do check this out with CAB first though as I'm not 100% sure.. Does he not work at all, so no chance of getting some child maintenance from him?

Definitely go to CAB before you make any changes, it’s likely this change will end your tax credits and start universal credit so timing is important. Also get advise re the council property

You will probably switch to universal credit as part of the change of circumstances, esa is only claimable in certain circumstances now, the disability element is added to the basic claim. Whose name is the council house in originally, if your do not give it up, you need to speak to the council housing department who can help you with what you need to do, do not make yourself homeless (it could be seen to be intentional if you have the right to the tenancy). You should have a contact at job centre plus for your benefits if you in the support group (might have it the wrong way around) they can probably help too. Also have all your medical paperwork to hand as you'll need it for the switchover claim

His name I think but our council officer for this area could have changed it as i deal with her alot over adaptions for 1 of our children and the neighbours but the council know about me and all kids this was his house before we met than i moved in 18 years ago our children were brought up in this house for housing benefit and council tax it all has to go through me as I am the main person for esa and tax credit everything is addressed to me I did speak to housing officer when he cheated on me the first time and she told me not to worry as the kids and the main care giver would have the house but I know him and I know the games he plays he has changed so much in the last year I don't even know him anymore he needs help but he says he don't have a problem and everyone else does. Everything to do with the children its me 3 school it's me I do the tac meetings myself without him hospital appointments for 2 of kids myself he does not bother my daughter needs major surgery so she's at the hospital alot so that's how I need this sorted now before she goes in for it and truthfully this house holds nothing but bad memory's for me and our children

Neither of you work?

This sounds horrific environment for your children op

the fact he cheated is neither here nor there in terms of financial rights in the eyes of DWP and HMRC

what levels of child access will he want?

Nope he has changed so much in the last year he's not the man I know I think he's really depressed but he won't seek help blames everyone else he's turned rather lazy so much needs to be done and he won't help he spends so much time online in this fantasy world that I call it and is losing out on the reality world he speaks to these ladies and swears nothing is happening but flirting and that's it but he won't tell them he has a partner to me that is very wrong and he's obviously hiding something and now i cant trust him last year when he done this to me it went alot further again online and texting and they both done intimate stuff I chucked him out but did take him back as he promised me it would never happen again and for the sake of our children but now after all this I can't do it with him any longer

Does he work?

I’ll take a punt - no

Nope he was main care giver for his disabled mum but he won't even do that now everyone else has to he also has copd but is doing nothing to help himself my daughter's go to primary, collage and a supported learning secondary hub 1 is awaiting a operation to fix her legs and hips she also has autism adhd and sensory struggles with walking so much is in pain all the time my other 2 kids are both awaiting autism assessment I need help with everything with them all but he won't help I have tried begging him to go to doctors for help for himself so that in turn he might help me with the children but he saying he does not need it and you can't force someone to get help

You could lose money as ESA/ tax credits is more than UC payments especially as your in the support group

so I would take some good advice on how much you could lose before you make any changes

I know that for single people who get the SDP in the support group don’t get that under UC and that can be worth around £60 a week but no idea what it is for families ot if they get that

if you were migrated over to UC rather than moving yourself and starting a new claim you would get the same amount as it’s protected although it would gradually get to the UC amount over a period of time

I would speak to Citizens Advice about your benefits - you need a better off calculation to clarify how your benefits will be affected as if you have to end your tax credits claim you will have to claim Universal Credit to get the child element in place of tax credits. If you switch to UC then you will need support it can be difficult getting used to monthly benefit payments and budgeting to pay rent, bills etc.

The Help to Claim service is part of citizens advice and purely exists for people starting a new Universal Credit claim. The advisers check you should be claiming and help you to make the claim. They will check you are getting all the elements you should be and will support you with making sure your first UC payment is correct etc. So they will be a good place to start. It is a national helpline and is free to call. Tel: 08001448444 (M-F 8-6)

www.citizensadvice.org.uk/about-us/contact-us/contact-us/help-to-claim/