After nearly 23 years with my dh, (nearly 10 year married) and also 3 kids later. Im done with him. A year after we got married 10 years ago, i found out that he was gambling online a year before we got married. At the time, i was a sahm, helping him with his self employed business and my youngest was born, we were arguing about his business partner not bothering turning up for work and never have money to do our house up as it was falling apart around our ears.
Fast forward 10 years later, ive got a good steady job but he still the same. I gave him the ultimation this January, to let go of his business and find a steady regular paid job. He suddenly 'woke' up (!!) And been working, bringing money home regulary (but wasnt hitting the target money as i said we do like for like same as my monthly wages (even though he earned more than me but money was never paid into his bank regular, we were always behind on payments esp the mortgage, now i pay about 90% of all our bills cos my wages is regular and i was trying to lift the weight off him too)). Plus also he needs to slowly gain money in his bank for future plans, which it still hadnt happens cos he been gambling again. For the past 2 years he been on and off but been hammering again cos i was moaning to him. I said he is full of excuses as he takes money out whenever he is getting stressed. I said he need to stop gambling for a year before i can trust him. Wtf...am i kidding to myself!?!
So we are back to square one.
I said to him we need to talk in the next couple of days about us.
This is the first time i feel done. Ive not cried and been angry...i just cant be arsed with him anymore.
I dont want to divorce him just yet but need a break from him. I feel like ive wasted my time married to him. I didnt leave him before cos i was thinking about the kids. They are age 10, 14 and 18. They adore their dad.
Weve never ever split up before. And im feeling sad.
Our house is up for sale for a while, im thinking do i want to be together?!
What do i need to do next?
Thanks for reading