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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

Original poster

Is 50:50 reasonable in these circumstances

17 replies

Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:04

Hello, I was hoping for some views on an appropriate settlement in the below situation.

Couple married 12 years, 2 kids age 8 and 10. Both have worked full time throughout the marriage. The husband was a significantly higher earner throughout the marriage but has now a chronic illness and is receiving an income from an income protection policy. He is unable to work or parent though able to look after his own needs. Currently the income for both is similar at approx £100k. Children will be full time with the wife. House is with £500k with a mortgage of £120k. Husband has pensions worth £400k, remainder of assets are liquid assets.

The husband is proposing a 50:50 split plus paying child maintenance. Is this reasonable, the kids will be 100% resident with the wife but the husband is concerned that his income is uncertain, depending on whether the insurance company updates and monitors the health position after a period of time. He currently qualifies.

I appreciate any thoughts as not sure what is fair or reasonable to both parties.

OP posts:
Greensleevevssnotnose · 01/04/2023 10:06

Do you get the house as well?

FishChipsMushyPeas · 01/04/2023 10:07

Would he be able to look after them 50% of the time? He wouldn't be required to pay any child maintenance would he? Do he'd be doing that out of choice.

FishChipsMushyPeas · 01/04/2023 10:08

Sorry 50/50 split of assets. Yea How's it working with the house?

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2023 10:11

What is the wife’s current pension?

Original poster
Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:13

Hi re the follow up questions, wife would keep the house, about £50k cash and £200k pensions. Husband would keep everything else (£350k cash and £250k pensions) and pay child maintenance.

Husband would not see the kids other than half an hour once a week plus phone calls.

OP posts:
dietcokelime · 01/04/2023 10:22

I think that sounds fair at first glance for someone with a chronic illness who can't earn any more - income protection won't pay out forever, wife keeping house / cash / pensions amount makes it seem fair with what the husband is keeping too. Not sure how husband would be able to see the DC alone for much longer than suggested given the ages and the fact they're so ill they're unable to work. Would anyone be able to support further contact for the DC with their dad?

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2023 10:24

That seems reasonable, apart from the children only seeing him for half an hour! Why such little time? That sounds awful for them.

Soontobe60 · 01/04/2023 10:25

dietcokelime · 01/04/2023 10:22

I think that sounds fair at first glance for someone with a chronic illness who can't earn any more - income protection won't pay out forever, wife keeping house / cash / pensions amount makes it seem fair with what the husband is keeping too. Not sure how husband would be able to see the DC alone for much longer than suggested given the ages and the fact they're so ill they're unable to work. Would anyone be able to support further contact for the DC with their dad?

Plenty of people are too unwell to work, but they still see their children - some are even single parents.

dietcokelime · 01/04/2023 10:28

@Soontobe60

"Plenty of people are too unwell to work, but they still see their children - some are even single parents."

Okay? And plenty of people don't get divorced. Plenty of people divorce and don't see the kids again. Plenty of people with chronic illnesses also work. Plenty of people with chronic illnesses are unable to look after children.

The fact plenty of people live in different circumstances and do things differently isn't any help to OPs individual situation. Without knowing the ins and outs it's not a helpful comparison 🤷🏻‍♀️

Original poster
Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:29

It’s the husbands choice to see the kids for only half an hour per week. Wife would prefer he see them more as is worried about the impact on the kids but can’t change his mind.

OP posts:
thegrain · 01/04/2023 10:30

Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:13

Hi re the follow up questions, wife would keep the house, about £50k cash and £200k pensions. Husband would keep everything else (£350k cash and £250k pensions) and pay child maintenance.

Husband would not see the kids other than half an hour once a week plus phone calls.

Husband would not see the kids other than half an hour once a week plus phone calls. well that's ridiculous. But the financial split sounds fair.

thegrain · 01/04/2023 10:31

Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:29

It’s the husbands choice to see the kids for only half an hour per week. Wife would prefer he see them more as is worried about the impact on the kids but can’t change his mind.

Fine but I hope its made clear to the kids that dad can't be arsed

FloydPepper · 01/04/2023 10:32

Separating the 2 things

split of assets seems fair. Why are you asking? Which seems unfair to you?

very limited time seeing the kids sounds shitty.

raisingthebarbell · 01/04/2023 10:34

I'm confused how/why he would think half an hour a week would be appropriate. As others have said, if a single parent has a serious illness they don’t get to opt out of parenting and I think without more details you will struggle to get balance answers. this will be devastating for your dc 😞

Original poster
Jimmintcricket · 01/04/2023 10:48

Issue with seeing the kids is a whole other thread and I’m very worried about the impact on them and have been talking to a child psychologist about how to deal with it.

I put it in to show that the wife will be 100% responsible for the kids.

I guess I’m asking because it seems broadly fair to me on the finances, but the issue with kids (100% responsibility) and chronic illness are unusual and I’m trying to get some impartial opinions and make sure that I’m being fair to everyone and his attitude to the kids is not colouring my opinion on finances. He suggested the financial split, so guess I’m looking for reassurance it’s fair.

OP posts:
Belindabelle · 01/04/2023 14:51

A few thoughts:

Is the child maintenance based on his current income. What if the income protection policy stops paying out, will maintenance then be based on benefits.

At those ages childcare will be required especially during school holidays. What is the plan for this particularly given the fact the father is opting out totally.

CleaningOutMyCloset · 01/04/2023 14:59

Re the financials, it seems pretty fair, if the wife gets 59k and the house (with no mortgage), plus is earning 100k a year AND will get maint from the husband then she can secure her own future with pension plans etc. he is left with the ability to house himself with the cash, has an income via insurance, and can use his pension when older.

I don't know what the illness is, but it would be better for the dw as pension credits might be affected if the dh dies early (although that's a guess as I'm not a fa)

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