Positive post separation/divorce stories?

[curlychocs]

I'm 4 weeks into a separation. I'm having so much anxiety about the future. Anyone have positive stories about life after the split? Struggling to gain perspective.

You'll get there. It's a cliché but it just takes time. The anxiety is horrible isn't it.

I'm weeks away from decree absolute.

It's taken 4 years. We split just before covid. Started divorce proceedings just over a year ago. Finances been the sticking issue.but we've got the court order now and are finally finalising it all.

Emotionally it's been hell. I've had the kids to deal with. He's been an absent parent. (6hours a week if they were lucky)
Middle child dx autism during this time and eldest had a life threatening accident.

For 2 years my soul focus was the kids.
For the last year I've started to realign myself and I'm in such a good place.

4 years after separation my kids are doing well, I've sorted things so we are financially in a good place with a roof over our heads. My love life is where it needs to be.... I'm single but know I can date if I want to. My social life is improving and emotionally I'm healing ❤️‍🩹

I’m following this as in a similar situation. Future feels so bleak atm 10 year relationship partner says he doesn’t love me anymore. I’m 35 to be 36 later this year no kids. I feel he’s took the option away from me now. He’s 34 so could date younger if that’s what he wants in the future

I think the year post split is a really tough one.

But for me personally things had been tough for years before but it was treading water going nowhere. I was stuck.

Post split was painful, draining and emotionally exhausting but I felt that it was pain that was moving me forwards finally. Year on year things have got better and better and I got stronger and stronger. If you had told me four weeks post split where I would be now several years later I don't think I'd have believed you. I was skint at first but free. And the kids have coped really well. And actually we all now get on.

I had a mantra I used to chant. I used to say 'I am not unhappy I am just stressed'. It worked for my circumstances because the marriage ending was the right thing, it's just really hard.

I've been divorced twice and each time I honestly thought my life was over. But I'm now a firm believer in 'everything happens for a reason' I'm so much happier now than ever before, it pushed me in directions I'd never have taken, which have resulted in a career I love which affords me a lovely house, dogs and a happy child, my boundaries with friends and 'special' friends are firmly in place which means I surround myself with people who are genuine and want what's best for me.

I know it's cliche, but time really is a healer, and everything happens for a reason. Hang in there op

We separated in July, together for 8 years married for 3.
Obviously every situation is different but I can tell you hand on heart if I'd have known the relief and freedom I would feel I would have done it myself, and a lot sooner.

Of course I'm sad my marriage ended. I loved him with everything I had. But I sleep very well knowing I kept to all my marriage vows. My life has improved 100 times since the split, after the initial shock I feel nothing but a weight lifted and I've been having so much fun and realising my worth with dates etc, nothing serious yet but it really is a lot of fun and has been a big confidence boost. Sometimes trust me the grass IS greener.

One thing that helped me in the immediate aftermath is making a list of all the things I wouldn't miss from the marriage. I thought I'd write a couple of things but before I knew it I'd written aboit a hundred over 5 pages. You might be the same.

You will absolutely get through this. Just know you're not alone, it is a global pain that almost everyone has been through at some point, there's a reason nearly every song written is about the pain of heartbreak.

Give yourself time to grieve and look after yourself OP. The light is just around the corner, I promise.
🌷

I’m separated since September, should have seen me then, an absolute mess, didn’t eat, didn’t sleep, thought my life was over.

7 months later I’m in a much better place and sort of looking forward to the future. I’ve had a 2 year old to contend with and she didn’t let me rest for a second and I think that helped. I couldn’t lay down and feel sorry for myself, just had to get on with it.