Separated from ex husband for 8 months or so l. For some background domestic abuse present previously.
we have two children who are 7 and nearly 3, they live with me and have after school and Saturday contact with Dad- no overnight (court ordered) at present due to safety factors
although there have been some questions generally they’ve managed ok since the split. Most recently when going/ coming back from their Dads there’s been tears- this is getting worse and worse with essentially tantrums. I have tried to support these ‘big feelings’ but it’s getting really dramatic (for want of a better word)
Unfortunately I know there Dad ‘bad mouths’ me, says they can’t sleep over because of me, suggests they tell people they should live with him, he is sad without them and cries all the time when they’re not with him etc l. I think this is highly inappropriate and is fuelling a lot of this upset. I have raised it in court as some of the comments were completely unfair for little children to hear: worry about.
anyway- my questions are 1) how can I best support them?
I don’t labour the point but we have a few books that are age appropriate about different families etc and a calendar as my eldest daughter would get confused over days sometimes and that seemed to help
- how is best to respond to these emotional outbursts? It really is stressful as the little one will kick, scream, shout. I feel it’s almost a habit he’s into at this point
I really try to create the best coparenting relationship and never speak negatively, encourage contact etc. it does hurt a little bit because I just want them to be as ok as they possibly can be and feel I’m failing
thank you for reading