ex is happy but will the judge/solicitor muddy the waters?

[Bluebaron1]

My ex and i have worked out our finances and what each other are happy with. Basically we have agreed to split the house 50/50. i have a larger pension (£400K and hers is only £120k), she's happy to forgo anything to do with that.

So i will potentially do quite well by the deal but I'm worried when we file that the solicitor/judge will sit her down and persuade her that she should go after more.

We've had a long decision on it and she's ver clear what she is entitled to and we are very amicable but I'm worried this could get all nasty once its goes legal?

Thoughts?

Your calculations are just insane.

Have either of you had legal advice? You seem to be making numbers up and double counting. She seems an idiot to be agreeing.

What's the current equity and market value of the house? Presumably £700k equity and £500k mortgage going by your figures? Your second post says you reckon you can just about remortgage to give her half the current equity - so do that.

Then have a pension sharing arrangement so she gets a third of your pension. You don't need any money upfront for that - the pension company sorts it's out when you're at retirement age.

Everyone happy.

If your wife was my friend I would be telling her that it is ridiculous to pay £30k a year just to let her adult children stay in a house. What percentage is that of her income currently?

Presumably neither of you would be downsizing to a one bed flat so talking about leaving the kids to fend for themselves is just silly.

Why can't you pension share? So ... ask your pension company to split your pension and set one up in your ex's name?

The kids are of an age where it isn’t going to be long before they will be leaving and certainly are not of an age they need to be.

the house should be sold and assets split and you both move on. Your children are old enough to accept that

But where should the children go? At 17 and 19, even at 21, in the current economic climate, how easy do you think it would be for them to fend for themselves?
OP - you both need legal advice, presumably with that the courts may be mire comfortable with your proposal

Also given your size of mortgage that you could possibly support, you must be a high earner.
Where are the other assets that other high earners tend to have?
Other investments?

As if either parent is buying a bedsit!

Mine share one of the downstairs rooms. I couldn't afford a 3 bed so I got a 2 bed 2 reception room house. It's hardly the end of the world. If they don't like sharing a room they can move out. Or pay some rent towards a mortgage on a bigger place, but hard then if they move out (which a 23 year old is likely to do).

Surprised none of these kids are off to/at uni. It's 50% these days who go. You'd think statistically at least one would be studying away.

Given the amount of equity the OP will get plus the clear ability to be able to afford that amount on a mortgage a perfectly acceptable home just not the family one

Pension sharing order - you don't pay anything now, but you split the future pension.

Then buy her out of the house, and you both have a clean break.

Or sell, you can still squeeze the children in a smaller house.

I don't understand your maths. If 350 000 is half the equity, then the total assets is 350 + 350+120+400 =1220. 50% roughly 610000
If she accepts 350 plus 120 that's 470 which is 38% of total assets.

I would very much hope that the court wouldn't sign off on that. Why don't you share some of your pension to make your pensions a bit more equal?

Your calculations are only on the interest payable on a mortgage to buy her out. They have her paying 50 percent of the interest. What about the fact that that mortgage is housing you?? Where’s the payment back to her for 50 percent of her housing costs?? Why can’t the adult children contribute to their housing costs??

It also doesn’t take into account the value of the house at the end of that 6 years. It’s also impossible to predict whether your DC will remain living there for 6 years. The 23 year old might meet someone and move in with them. One or all of them might go travelling.

It also doesn’t take into account the increases in your pensions over the next 6 years. Based on a 20 percent increase, yours will be worth 480000 and hers will be worth 144000. So you benefit far more than her from an increase.

Luckily the government has already worked out a system for non resident parents to support their children. Your ex should pay you cms for the dc, based on the cms calculator then contribute extra towards clothes, activities etc. Assets should be split now, starting at 50-50 but given it appears she has sacrificed her career to raise the children and now has a lower income and less opportunity to prepare for retirement and adequately house herself she should get closer to 60 percent.

I also don’t understand your calculations regarding mortgage payments. They seem awfully high to me

So your paying extra to keep a stake in a rising asset whilst persuading her she has a good deal

This isn't a fair split at all.

And whilst I appreciate your children don't want to move - that's life. In a few short years they will have flown the nest anyway.

Ha. Getting her to pay half the mortgage interest that you need to take out to buy her share of the equity is cheeky fuckery of the highest order. Plus only "allowing" 38% of the total assets available to be shared.
I ask again, where are all the other assets of the marriage? Cars, ISA's cash?
Its likely that there is far more than your stbxw knows about.

good points and well received.

there are no other real assets she owns a car mine is leased. No savings (all used to maintain a very old large house)

New plan - splitting the house/pension 50/50 would (if I didn’t pension share) leave her with 70% of current equity me with 30%.(490k vs £210k)

shes adamant we don’t sell (I don’t really mind). I can’t afford to remortgage to that amount.

At the moment I’m giving her £1400 a month (in lieu or her equity/rent).

I could continue to do that until we sell but that leaves me a bad place to attempt to rebuild finances as I’ll be spending so much to maintain and run the house/mortgage (£4-5k a month) I won’t be able to save any money and then in 5(?) years she will still take 70% and I won’t even be able to afford a small flat. (ok I’ll have my pension in 20 years).

I could ask for child maintenance to be the £1400 I give her and save that I guess 🤷🏻‍♂️?

thanks for advice trying to be fair but everyone keeps telling me to sell and get out. I’m trying to support the kids after she walked out. I can’t do that with £200k in the bank if I sold.

What have you got against pension sharing?

It seems fairly obvious you’re coming up with some wacky ideas between you to avoid selling the house to support ‘children’, which in legal terms, 2 out of the 3 are already adults.

Courts like clean breaks and they also work on the notion that divorcing couples must, in almost all cases, each accept there is very likely to be a reduction in their standard of living following divorce. Who did what is (almost always) irrelevant when it comes to agreeing a financial settlement. You’re clutching at straws there.

The court would treat 2 of your 3 children as adults.

I think you both need to accept the house must be sold and you need to arrive at a settlement that is fair.

Are you going to agree to a financial consent order that has no clean break clause? Based on what you’re saying I don’t see how you could have a clean break anytime soon.

The “deal” that you’re proposing does not seem fair, in legal terms, based on what you’ve posted.

It appears you already know this is a bit bonkers, otherwise you might not have posted.

How does 50-50 leave her with 70%?

It literally leaves her with 50%

Perhaps you are still in shock, op, and finding it hard to come to terms with. I am also not sure why you are paying her £1400 a month to be honest, but that's up to you.

Split the house 50-50. You can remortgage if you want to, or sell and split the proceeds.

Add up the value of both pensions then divide in half. Work out the fraction you need to give her and apply for a pension splitting order as part of the divorce process.

There you go ... 50-50.

Plenty of people have told you but you never engage with why that isn't possible

This just isn't a fair agreement and a court is likely to query the discrepancy. If you can't afford to pay her more than half the equity, that's fine, but why shouldn't she get a share of your pension? Doesn't cost you anything other than the admin costs to put it in place.

Her affair is totally irrelevant to what she's entitled to.

I do hope she gets proper advice - you may well have pressured her to accept this deal but it’s unlikely to be accepted as fair by a court.

Sell the house and start afresh. I think you'd be sensible to do a clean break now. This all sounds wildly complicated.

How is me giving her 50% of everything not fair?

She will actually be ahead as I've already given her £10k to furnish a new place and I'm paying her £1400 a month while supporting 3 young adults.

Not to mention I'm paying down the current mortgage and spending money improving and decorating the house. Last month i completely refitted a new bathroom. I work part-time and spend every spare minute cleaning and gardening and cooking dinner. (as i have for the last 20 years). in the mean while she's off on her second cruise of the year.

No wonder everyone is telling me get out. sorry for the rant.

beginning to get the message

thanks all

Your both need £610k for 50:50
Not £490k for her and the rest for you.

You are not giving her 50% of everything?

50% is £610k each. You could possibly deduct the £10k and the £1400 a month from that, so maybe £590k for her. You are offering her £490k.