Do I still need to fill in form E if I don’t want proceedings to go to court?

[TeaandLemonDrizzle]

Hi,

I am 2 years into a divorce with no real progress as stbx has kept offering a much lower share of the matrimonial pot than what he wants for himself. My solicitor group were useless so I have recently taken on another, more expensive, solicitor who is shi* hot! He is a bit too aggressive at times which I don’t want as I don’t mean to hurt my stbx. It was me who instigated the split following a long, sexless marriage.

New solicitor is insisting that we both complete form E and provide evidence of financial matters. This wasn’t done by my previous solicitors and it was pretty obvious the other side could’ve said anything. I get that.

However, the form mentions court details and I’m a bit confused. I daren’t ask my solicitor as he has said he won’t represent me unless I toughen up. I have already spent a lot on divorce fees so want the financial settlement sorted ASAP (as eldest goes to uni this year and youngest has exams next summer). I don’t want it to go to court as I am well aware of the costs and this will stop me buying a house of my own. I don’t want to lose more and more money.

Do I still complete form E? I’m not sure if this gets sent to a judge and that’s it or they expect us to go! I do not want to go to court not just because of costs but because it’s affecting my mental health and wellbeing.

Be careful with "shit hot" solicitors. Aggressive doesn't necessarily mean good. If he seems to be taking a lot of action, it might be a motivation to increase his fees rather than your settlement. Even if he is good, it will probably prompt your stbx to tool up in legal representation at greater expense rather than cave into what you want. Also, your ability to "hurt" your ex without hurting yourself too is zero. Whilst the courts can be a bit over-generous to the weaker financial party sometimes that normally only happens after both parties have spent a lot of money on legal fees and are no better off than they would have been before litigation. The courts will also seek a solution that is fair to both parties.

Do you need a form E? Not necessarily; it only becomes necessary if matters go to court. If you're negotiating, a form D81 should suffice. I'd be slightly wary of your solicitor if they did not suggest a form D81 first. It sounds like they're gung-ho and want to stick the meter on and go to court. A form E will give them a much juicier fee than a D81.

Your solicitor is just running up the bill - there’s no need to go to court if you can avoid it and still get a fair deal. Any solicitor that starts with Form E isn’t shit hot IMO. And he sounds like a bully.

Maybe you can both agree on something like The Divorce Surgery, if you don't want to self-rep (I self rep, currently because solicitors are just far too expensive. It's just not worth it!). If you're both pretty much in agreement as to how you want to approach the financial aspect of your divorce but you still need that legal handhold, this is a service where one solicitor looks after both parties and the divorce settles out of court. I listened to a podcast on it and it sounded perfect. I'd totally go down this route if I could. I can't at all and have to go through the courts because my divorce is complicated (my ex-husband is in prison and our finances are complex). BUT! If I could, I'd totally consider this route.

Just to add, 'shit hot' will stress you, wear you out, and break you.
On the advice of a supposed MNer (who I now think was not an MNer at all), I started out with an exhausting, hyper-speed, 'shit-hot' lawyer (Laura Naser, I'm looking at you!). Within ten days, I paid her £5000 PLUS and I was exhausted. Divorce is traumatic. You don't need some frantic solicitor coming along to blow more shit apart.
Slow your roll. Hit pause. Take your time. There is no mad rush. Shit hot lawyers will rush you and break you. It doesn't have to be that way.

My dp did his divorce really simply and amicably - they both agreed the split - but it still 'goes to court' to get the final order rubber-stamped. There is a minimal court fee for this.

If there is no agreement between you then ultimately it is for the court to decide; you will both need to complete form E which you can both question. The court will then decide the division of assets, this is the expensive part. I'm all for slow things down but your divorce has been rolling on for 2 years and is taking a monetary and emotional toll. It sounds like your SHL is doing what you asked them to in terms of getting it progressing - this requires paperwork completed so they can start querying the other side to get the best deal for you.

I'm sorry but it sounds like you actually need someone to be more pushy with nothing happening for 2 years

If your Ex won't do anything then you're going to need to go to court

One of the most common thing I see people get wrong is thinking aggression is the same as being assertive. Added to which is people who aggressively demand others should take their advice when they don’t want to.

OP you are an individual with your own circumstances and wants. Two years after a divorce is enough time to decide what you want from the rest of your life. It can be peace of mind as much as financial security. Then you need to be realistic about how your divorce settlement can help you achieve this.

You are the one instructing the solicitor. Tell him what you want to achieve and how. Then ask him what his strategy is for achieving it and why it will work with your particular ex.

It could well be that your solicitor believes that showing a willingness to go to court could be catalyst that gets you ex to be realistic about negotiating. If it is obvious that you won’t go to court then your ex will push you back and back on your red lines.

If you ex is unrealistic or stupidly stubborn there might be nothing you can do to avoid court. In which case you should accelerate this process.

Hi @TeaandLemonDrizzle I'll PM you later as I'm just about to attend a job interview but - and not directly answering your question - I think we may have similar issues.

Ok, thanks

I don't think financials are binding unless signed off by a judge. I never went to court though all just done by post.

I just googled that Divorce Surgery they reckon minimum £5k per person plus VAT, I Don't think that's reasonable unless you have a large financial settlement to sort out!

Yes, £5k is a chunk but true, if your finances are complex, it’s a drop in the bucket. A bargain actually. You’d be amazed how fast a solicitor can rack up 5k and take you nowhere with it.

Finances are NOT binding unless the order is signed off by a judge, that is correct (to the above poster).

I am a long time lurker on these pages as I have recently gone through a divorce.

In my view, this is the best advice you will ever receive, provided you are comfortable your ex is honest. This approach may also allow you to keep it somewhat amicable.

I was the husband and in the stronger financial position. Whilst I didn't want my marriage to end, I desperately wanted it to be amicable, so I made a very reasonable and fair upfront offer to ExW, and offered multiple times to meet with her and have a sensible conversation.

However she had an aggressive shit hot lawyer, who saw the £ signs. She insisted on Form Es and lots of aggressive questions. She proceeded to an FDR, where they argued ExW should get 100% of the equity from the sale of our property. Needless to say, this seriously pissed me off and I dug in. We settled just before the final hearing.

The end result was that she got £20k less than I first offered a year previously, and it cost her £30k in legal fees.... But I'm sure her lawyer was happy.

Avoid shit hot lawyers and try to mediate or discuss.

Hi,

Yes, that’s what I’m afraid of. Less money available but the solicitor pocketing a vast amount. I am in a difficult position as my husband hasn’t spoken to me since he left. I wanted it to be amicable and I applied, initially, for a divorce and a 50% split ion the house (even after he had inherited another property). However, it was obvious that I was paying for the children’s costs and he wasn’t contributing a penny (no CMS as I hadn’t applied) so I went down the financial solicitor route. I have spent £6k already and got nowhere hence why I opted for another solicitor. I am wary we are both being strung along.