Hi mumsnetters
Myself and my ex split 18 months ago due to him having an affair, we were unhappy for a long time before this but I carried on for our two young sen DC's
He left the family home that week and since then we tried to co-parent in a positive way, I have no family support from my own family and his family had always been our support and I no longer have that.
He has several times over the last 18 months bought up the subject of coming home and I have always categorically said no. He also uses to only have the children on his days off when he works erratic shifts and would give me very little notice so I could never plan, We used to do days out together with the kids and holiday (separate rooms) but after that in the summer I said it was not viable to continue in this way going forward and that also he needed to change shifts to have then EOW all weekend.
For context he stayed with the OW for nearly a year afterwards.
He seems to think he is entitled to know all about my life and where I'm going as who with. He even let himself into my house with the kids a few weeks ago when I wasn't there as he thought I wouldn't know but I have a camera. When confronted he said it used to be his house too so he can do as he likes.
I met a wonderful man through mutual friends in the latter half of last year and we have begun a lovely relationship . We talk every day and see each other when my children are with their dad. Ex has recently got suspicious and has been demanding to know if I've met someone. After him standing at my door going on an on for over an hour at pick up yesterday I finally said yes and stayed I had met someone and I was happy. He asked his age and if he had children which I said he didn't.
I got a whole emotional blackmail speech about me keeping our family apart and he loves me and Is heartbroken etc
Then today he turned up at the school unannounced when I was on pick up and then followed me back to the house with the kids and was hurling more questions at me then stated he thinks my partner not having children 'at his age' is a red flag and he thinks he is a wrongen and if he comes near the children he is taking me to court for full custody and calling social services to take the children from me because of my mental health (I had post natal depression after the children were born they are now school age) the fact that the house is mid renovations so Is not fully decorated and that I am not 'doing as I'm told'. We have no intention for my new partner to meet my children for a long time until we are well established etc but ex is now saying he will stop having the children to stop me seeing my partner and will also take every item of furniture etc in the house that was bought when we were together. He states that he will get custody because I used to suffer with my mental health and I will live to regret it if I don't do as I'm told. I have told him he is no longer welcome to come to the house and must drop off outside and I will come out he is not to try and come in. He says he will do as he likes.
How do I navigate this please