Ex won’t maintain boundaries

[Bluebaron1]

My ex and I tried living together for as long as possible after our split but it got to much for me as I was unable to meet anyone else.
Shes been with her new partner for years and they were happy with the setup.
eventually I asked her to leave and gave her a lump sum and agreed to pay her monthly rent.
we have decided to sort the house out in a few years when the youngest is a bit older.
She’s Only been gone a week and already started popping by unannounced.
I had a date over and she text me saying she needed something and I told her I had someone over but she still just let herself in and made a cup of tea in the kitchen. needless to say my date was not impressed!

I don’t want to cause a huge row but how do I get her to maintain my boundaries? She’s just keeps saying “this is still my house” etc.

Im now paying for two houses and she’s seems to want to live in both!

Who owns the houses? If a joint mortgage/ownership then legally she is right.

You need to separate properly, get your own front door with a lock and don't give her a key.

Why don't you swap and you move into rented. Then she can't legally access that property. Or get on and sell.

She sounds toxic.

Sort out finances and separate properly
why in earth are you paying for 2 houses
buy her out or sell the house and split equity so you can both move on
why delay ??

I guess we are just delaying for the sake of the children. (23/19/17) they all live at home but the youngest just needs a few more years to sort themselves out.
The idea was I would pay for her to move out maintain the jointly owned property and then in 2 years we sell up and sort it out.