Long distance parenting and travel

[NorthEastMamma]

Would really appreciate some advice/input please. Just a quick overview of background.
I separated from partner 3 years ago nearly 4. We have a daughter together ( same sex relationship ) our child has 2 mums and lives with me and other mum lives over 2 hrs drive away so mainly sees our child in school holidays due to distance. .I moved back to my home town be near my parents and family for help and support when we first separated.
Travel and pick up/ drop off has always been an issue and we meet half way and my ex said because I moved away so it’s fair we meet half way which we do. However she has moved even further away another 30 minutes on her journey one way. This was her choice to move.
i do need some advice as from my point of view her responsibilities are a lot less and earns alot more income than myself and sees our child in school holidays which is every 6-7 weeks or more so I do the day to day care etc with our little one . This is fine but I think it not unreasonable to ask her to pick up ans drop off our daughter from my house. She pays maintance and some fuel cost but not very much and think as I do most of the parenting it’s not asking to much. My outgoings are much much more for our daughter than she gives every month. Anyone with advice or input would be great.

You were the one to move 2 hrs away. Surely you realised the impact this would have on parenting. Of course your ex gets limited time with the child because of that.

Stick to the old meet up point at least. It’s unreasonable to ask your ex to do all the travelling because of your decision to move 2 hrs away. The extra 30 mins doesn’t compare. But if you want to make her pay, stick to the meet up point 1 hr from your home.

At the end of the day the child is paying for this, a distant parent and lots of travel.

You moved 2 hours away and wanted her to share the journey which she did. You took away her options to have the DC more - that's on you.

Now she does something similar and you don't like it.

Its 15 minutes. Just do it.

You moved, she could have made you do all the driving. She was very reasonable to agree to meeting half way.

You’re the one who’s made more frequent and meaningful contact difficult so it’s a bit rich to be complaining you do more parenting and carry more costs. You get the benefit of more time with your child which you’ve denied your ex.

Can't you go on meeting in the same "halfway" point that you've always met, but your ex will now have to drive a bit further to each it as she's moved? I think the alternative bargaining position is to request she does all the driving but pays you a bit less, but that might not be what you want either.

You can insist she drives all the way to you but then she can deduct the full cost of that from any child maintenance she pays. And if you make this adversarial, I suspect that's what she will do. Sometimes you need to think tactically before taking action and make sure you don't make your situation worse.

Thanks for feedback ladies. Appreciate it 😊