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Divorce/separation

Here you'll find divorce help and support from other Mners. For legal advice, you may find Advice Now guides useful.

How to stop feeling lost, sad and alone

3 replies

aloneintheworld23 · 13/03/2023 14:53

Long-time lurker, never posted. After twenty-three years, my husband has asked for a divorce because he is unhappy. He has refused to go to couples' counselling, and is either ignoring me or being cruel. I should despise him, but instead feel a terrible sense of loss and sadness. Anyone who has been through this, do you have any advice on what I might do to get past this? I do have my work, but no children, family I can turn to, or friends. I realise now that I was so content in my marriage that I stupidly never looked to any one else for friendship, and have only now realised how isolated I have become. How do I move forward when I feel paralysed by fear and sadness? Any suggestions welcome.

OP posts:
Jas683 · 13/03/2023 21:11

Hi and welcome..

I will start by saying that eventually your paralysis will subside and become easier. I have few friends, my choice but I realise this has to change. I need company on a certain level.
My suggestion is to become more comfortable with your situation, I hear you saying "that will never happen" BUT given time you will carve a new different life.

I'm in the UK and have joined a local ladies group on FB which is enough for me for now, socialising with people but not needing great intensity, friendship.

Are you yet in a position to start to visualize anything in the future. Can you slowly try doing something new on your own.

You will get to a better place, it requires grit and determination along with an open mind.

Wishing you well for the future.

Fourmagpies · 14/03/2023 08:56

Great advice from Jas above. This must be such a shock for you but it will get easier and you can rebuild a life. Start slowly and find things to do that you enjoy. If you want to meet people, join group activities - it makes it easier to make friends and sometimes it's just nice to chat to someone while doing the activity without the pressure of being friends.
Also it might be worth seeing a counsellor or therapist to help you come to terms with it. I also found meditation helped rebuild my confidence.

autumn1610 · 18/03/2023 07:10

I’m in the same situation as you, I’m so upset, I’m heartbroken and completely blindsided. 10years and just wants to walk away without trying.

I spoke to a counsellor and they suggested I think of a couple of things I want to get back into and that i unconsciously have relied on my partner to be my support network. However his reasons to leave are in my eyes insignificant and I want it to work still with me making the positive steps in my life alongside. He’s unwilling to try.

im absolutely broken

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