DH and I separated last week. He instigated it. We have been marred 11 years, together 13 with 2 DD, 10 and 7, and a 14 year old SDD from his previous marriage. I always thought our marriage was OK. The main issues were I carried the mental load and did or thought about everything as well as having a stressful job. He did very little unless specifically told and never organised anything at all, including date night. Last summer he accused me of always shouting at him and talking to him in the wrong way. He now resented me and didn't love me. I did sometimes shout in pure desperation as he didn't do anything. For example he had said he would get the car fixed before a long drive on holiday....he didn't. I then had to sort. He just played video games or played games on his phone. This was constant. But I put up with it. I had also found overly friendly texts to a woman he worked with, and in truth, that was what I think was the real reason. Anyway, we did counselling, put in changes but by Feb he was telling our counsellor constantly how he didn't love me but didn't want to hurt me. I couldn't take anymore and he moved out.
I know it has only been a week but I'm barely sleeping. I feel panicked about the future- money, the house, contact with kids. He has had them a few times and missing them completely consumes me.
What steps should I be taking? How does it work with the family home? I don't want to leave it. How can I just sleep???
I'm 44 and it's scary to think I'll go through the rest of my life alone. How do I deal with that?
Just looking for advice from people who understand