We just told our 9 yo we are separating. All nice and polite but child is suffering and isolating. I am giving him space to process but feel helpless and selfish.
I mmade the decision. My boy didnt notice ww are not happy. My husband could live like this forever but i just couldn't.
We are soooo different I don't know where to start. I cannot live with someone that makes me feel lonely when I am with him. I cannot be constantly criticised and mocked. I cannot look at my boy who has no connection or spends no quality time with his dad. I cannot suffer like that for another 10 years and then it will be too late to break up.
On the flip side my husband has been nicer to our boy for the last month (since decisions) than for last 5 years brought together. Guilt is great motivator to be nice. He even started picking chores up that he was piling on me for last 11 years. Amazing !
It really frustrates me that you argue, tell straight, plead and they don't listen. When you run out of love and energy and in self preservation upu stop it all - then that can change, pick up, be different. ( I don't trust the permanence of it though).
I haven't got strength to go back on my decisions either. Making them and seeing them through drained it all out.
Sorry. Needed to vent. Feeling a bit better now.