Doing a DIY separation / divorce

[Fujifan]

Hi all

We have decided to split and as we are getting on fine, and there is no-one else involved want to do as much as we can ourselves.

We could divorce, and start that off but in no rush to. The most important thing is to get a financial order done as we can both then move on and sort out mortgages and moving house.

We have pretty much agreed childcare and split of assets, so what we need to do now is get this approved.

I am also keen to know the timescales too as that will impact on our ability to get mortgages (i.e. I don't want to get a mortgage agreed and completed in say 8 weeks if the financials are not legally signed for 12).

So many resources out there I have gone round in circles!! I have seen from 81 and from e. Is it a case of just filling in one, posting off and getting it approved x weeks later (and what would the x be)?

The divorce piece is relatively straightforward. The government website has detail Link here

once you have the decree nisi you can apply for a financial order. You can get the groundwork prepared ahead of time. You will probably need to use a third party- there are cheap options online. The judge is unlikely to sign off the financial order if it hadn’t had a professional overview.

Once the financial order is completed you can apply for decree absolute.

It is straightforward and the court is very helpful. However the wait is quite long, but they do give an idea of length of time when you submit your application.

Thanks, so we do HAVE to divorce?

Any ideas roughly if we started the process next week, how many weeks it would take for the financial order (am guessing around 20)?

Decree nisi was about 8 months when I applied, though it was during covid so there was a backlog. The financial order paperwork was quick, and from memory, it was about six weeks, as I had the paperwork ready to submit as soon as the decree nisi came through. The decree absolute came within about a week of submission.

If you're doing it yourself, please make sure you have very very carefully looked into pensions and any other non standard assets.

So many women on here are getting screwed over for the future because they prioritise staying in the family home and keeping things 'nice', and don't realise they're potentially entitled to well more more than 50% and that includes pensions.

If you’re amicable, understand all your finances, and are happy to sort out the financial split between you in a Faye manner you don’t need to complete form e

one of you can come off the mortgage / deeds now if that’s what you want and transfer house to other. You don’t have to be divorced to do that. This means other person can get a mortgage without waiting for divorce. Look at gov uk info on divorce / capital gains etc implications. Doing this doesn’t affect divorce settlement. Sometimes people will do deed of trust for their share pending divorce (in case the one with house sells up and runs off abroad!) It’s easy to do transfer if mortgage company agrees one person can be removed - I used the solicitors suggested by bank and it was all done online and I just went into bank to sign papers. We didn’t actually divorce for another 2 years as we wanted to do it no fault and that was a 2 year wait at that time.

Go to link at top of page to download ADVICE NOW guides
they cost £22 for full downloads but that’s about same as 7 mins of a solicitors time so cheap
they will explain all the diy processes and explain about form filling etc for financial settlement
they’re legit charity that aims to make law easy and accessible for everyone. Covers England and wales ( guess there’s equivalent for Scotland). The guides are all written by their experienced legal team

Form D8 is the first form you file, and pay £593. You can easily do this without a lawyer.

Form D81 comes later, after a 20 week cooling off period expires. (I think) that gets submitted with a consent Order which is the financial division plan, and plan about childcare or ongoing commitments. Drafting the CO is really confusing and where many resort to a lawyer.

I have finally conceded defeat, we have to involve lawyers, because we need a mesher order (delayed sale of house) to avoid me (who will move out first) paying capital gains tax. I hope when I'm done I can help other people who wanted to divorce without paying ££££ to lawyers, but like me, are getting stuck on the process, even though we are entirely amicable and agreed the plan early, and are easily talking now, and all we really need is simple templates.

I am told the text on AdviceNow that appears on free website (but it seems short??) is same as the £22 hard copy. if you don't fully divorce then you keep claims on each other in future which could make the relationship un-amicable, is my take on it. Also, getting legal documents makes clear expectations on both sides, things like plan to support your kids. I think of this as like the adage "Good fences make good neighbours."

Depends on kids, but I think there might be advantage in certainty for the kids, to get fully divorced. Long term separation is not a stable situation from kids' PoV.